And Fabiano didn’t speak either. He was tense, fingers clutching the wheel, eyes glaring out into the dark.
“Does he know? Is that why he went berserk today?”
“That wasn’t Remo going berserk, trust me. That was him trying not to go berserk.”
So much blood, and the sick excitement in Remo’s eyes when he broke the neck of the first man, and then what came after… If that wasn’t going berserk I didn’t know what was. “Fabiano,” I began but he shook his head. “At home. I need to think.”
I gave him space and quiet, even if my own mind was whirring so loudly with thoughts I couldn’t believe he didn’t hear it.
He didn’t say anything but he took my hand as he led me toward his apartment. I squeezed to show him that I wasn’t going to break, that I could handle things too. The moment the door closed, he cupped my cheeks and kissed me. He pulled back after a moment. “You should leave Las Vegas.”
“What? You stopped me leaving not too long ago,” she said incredulously, stepping back from me.
I was equally surprised by my words. I didn’t want Leona to leave. I didn’t want to lose her, but if she stayed, I’d lose her too.
“I know, but things are different now. I can’t protect you if Remo finds out about Soto.”
“What about you? Don’t tell me he’ll forgive you.”
I shook my head. “He won’t.” Forgiveness? No, that wasn’t something Remo ever dished out. Leona squeezed my hand again as if I was the one in need of comforting. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had tried to comfort me.
“Then come with me. We can leave Las Vegas together.”
I glanced down at my tattoo, at the words that still filled me with pride when I read them. “I made an oath.”
Leona shook her head in disbelief. “You made an oath to a man who will kill you.”
“Yes, because I broke my oath by killing a fellow Camorrista. I can hardly blame Remo for that.”
She shook her head again, only harder. “Fabiano, please. Can’t we just go to New York where your sister lives? She will take you in, won’t she?”
Aria would take me in. But Luca, he would put a bullet in my head as he should. “Perhaps, she’s stupid like that. Because she still thinks I can return to being the brother she knew, but I’m not him anymore, and I don’t want to be.” That boy had wanted to please his father so he deigned him worthy enough to inherit his rank. I had learned to fight for it.
“She will learn to accept the person you are now.”
“I doubt it.”
“Why? I do.” Her eyes had become soft and something in my chest tightened.
“Sometimes you actually remind me of Aria with your stubborn insistence on taking care of your mother even if she doesn’t deserve it.”
“That’s because I love her. I can’t help it.”
“Then maybe love isn’t the right choice for you.”
She regarded me with a strange expression. One I couldn’t place. “Yes, very likely. My mother always loved the wrong people and things. I guess I got that from her.”
She didn’t say anything for a while, and I wasn’t sure what to say.
I cleared my throat. “I won’t leave Las Vegas, or the Camorra, or Remo and his brothers. I’ll risk his wrath, but I’ll keep my oath.”
“Why does this mean so much to you? I don’t get it.” Her fingers clutched my shirt. “Explain it to me. Why would you risk so much for them?”
“My sisters and I we were a union. We stuck together against our father, and our mother. I thought it would always be like that. I was a boy. But then one after the other left until I was left in a huge house with my choleric father and his child bride. They thought I could handle myself, but back then I was still weak. And when my father decided he didn’t need me anymore, I was lost. I didn’t want to run to New York with my tail between my legs like a fucking failure and beg Luca to take me in. He would have done so only because of Aria.” I ran my hand down Leona’s throat and shoulder, relishing in the softness of her skin. I could tell she was trying to follow my words, but for her my world, the mafia world, was foreign. If you didn’t grow up like me or my sisters, you couldn’t understand what exactly it meant to be born into our world.
“I would have died without Remo. I was incapable of taking care of myself, of fighting, of pretty much anything, but Remo knew how to survive and he taught me. He took me in like I was another one of his brothers. Remo is a cruel fucker, but over all the years he fought to claim Las Vegas and in the years that followed, he kept his brothers close. They were more burden than help in the beginning, especially Savio and Adamo who were too young. He could have won over Las Vegas sooner but he stayed in hiding to keep them safe. He protected them and me. I don’t always know what’s going on in his twisted mind but he’s loyal and a good brother.”