I hovered beside her to see if she could handle it, but Giulia only had eyes for Simona. She looked terrified and a little lost. Then Simona did what she always did when anyone but me or my sisters or mother held her; she began bawling, her tiny arms and legs thrashing as she tried to squirm away from the stranger.
Giulia’s eyes grew wide, scared, as she sought my gaze for help.
Sighing, I went over to the bottles. “Try to console her. She needs to get used to you.” Simona had never taken to Sybil or the other maids. If the same happened with Giulia, months of sleepless nights would turn into years and my daughter would remain without a mother figure in her life. It was an option I didn’t want to entertain.
“Shh… Shh.” Giulia rocked Simona, but even from afar I could see her anxiety, and Simona could probably feel it too. The crying didn’t cease. If possible, it got even more intense. I moved faster, preparing the formula, trying not to let the cries snap my patience. I wanted to call Felix right this moment and tell him that he’d regret lying to me, that I’d find a way to make him pay. The best way, of course, to pay him back would be to nullify our marriage because he’d cheated me of a promised mother figure. With the bottle, I walked over to Giulia, who looked close to tears herself. But it would be absolutely dishonorable to cancel the marriage at this point, and not just that…. Nothing in this world would make me give up Giulia now that I had her. Maybe she wasn’t the mother my children needed, but fuck, she was what I craved.
The moment I took Simona from Giulia, her shoulders sagged with relief. Simona quieted in my hold and accepted the bottle, watching me with teary eyes, her chubby cheeks blotchy.
“I’m sorry,” Giulia said. Guilt filled her expression.
I didn’t say anything. Slowly, I made my way back upstairs and into Simona’s room. Giulia was quiet. I should say something, tell her it would get better, but I wasn’t sure if it was true.
Giulia watched me the entire time that I fed my daughter. Simona was calm as I cradled her against my chest. “Should I try to hold her again?” she asked, uncertain.
“No,” I clipped. I couldn’t bear another crying fit.
Giulia nodded slowly, looking away. Silence settled over us, only disturbed by the suckling sounds of Simona drinking her bottle. When she was finally done, my eyes burned with exhaustion. I tried to put Simona back down in her crib, but the moment I did, she began wailing again.
With a small sigh, I went over to the rocking chair in the corner and sank down. The thing groaned under my weight. “You can go to sleep. I don’t need you.”
Giulia winced as if I’d slapped her. She turned, walked out, and silently closed the door.
I rocked, watching my daughter who looked wide awake. This would be another sleepless night.
Simona had eventually fallen asleep so I was able to catch two hours of sleep before my alarm rang at six. Groaning, feeling bone-tired, I straightened in bed. Giulia sat up too. Just like after our first night together, her eyes were puffy from crying. Maybe our bond was doomed the same way my bond with Gaia had been.
“Good morning,” she said, tugging a strand of hair behind her ear and straightening her bangs. “I didn’t hear you come to bed.”
“It was late. Simona wouldn’t fall asleep.”
Giulia bit her lip. “Sybil’s going to be here today, right?”
I nodded. “You don’t have to worry. You won’t have to be alone with my children yet. Sybil will show you how to take care of them until you know what to do. But Sybil’s main job is to clean and cook.”
“Okay,” she said softly.
“I’m going to get ready. Your bodyguards are coming over at seven so I can introduce you before I leave for work.”
“Are they your late wife’s bodyguards?”
Fury burned in my chest. “No.” Which was mostly the truth.
Giulia got out of bed, but her eyes were on me. “When will you be home tonight?”
“I don’t know.” I headed into the bathroom and closed the door. The hot shower did nothing to dissipate the heavy sense of exhaustion.
While Giulia got ready, I dressed in my usual three-piece suit before I headed to Daniele’s room. As expected, he wasn’t inside. I found him on Gaia’s bed, still in his PJs, staring down at his tablet. “Daniele, you know you aren’t supposed to be in here.”
He didn’t react, except for rounding in his small shoulders and jutting out his chin. I went over to him and picked him up. He squirmed in my hold, but I didn’t set him down.