My stomach tightened. “You think he will stay angry with me for months?” His face gave me the answer I had feared. Maybe I’d really lost him.
A man who had never slept in a bed with someone else, who was never around people without a gun, not even his brother, because he had learned from an early age that trust got you killed—he had trusted me, and I had messed it up.
“If you let me take a quick shower, we can head out right away,” Romero said eventually.
It took me a couple of heartbeats to process his words. “Yes, please. I will get ready.”
Forty minutes later Romero and I were on our way to New York. Gianna and Lily had still been asleep when we left, and Sandro and two other guards would keep watch.
I had put on my wig again so people wouldn’t recognize me. Nobody could find out about my pregnancy.
“Will you tell your sisters?” Romero asked.
I hesitated. “I’d prefer if this could stay between us for a while.” Romero slanted me a conflicted look, but then he nodded. I knew he didn’t like keeping things from Lily, but too much had happened in the last few days, and I needed time to figure out things for myself before I involved more people.
Romero waited in the waiting room as I followed Dr. Brightley into the treatment room. She confirmed my pregnancy and told me I was six weeks along. When I emerged afterward and Romero led me into the elevator, I missed Luca so much, I couldn’t hold back tears. He should have been there with me, should have shared this joyful moment with me.
Romero touched my shoulder but I leaned against him, seeking comfort, and after a moment of hesitation, he wrapped his arms around me. “Aria, Luca will come back to you.”
I wanted to believe him, wanted nothing more. Nodding, I pulled back and wiped my eyes, embarrassed about my outburst. Even if Luca’s absence broke my heart, I needed to be strong for our baby.I was nervous. This was the first time I’d see Luca in three weeks. We hadn’t talked or messaged. I had sent him a couple of messages in the beginning but then given up when he ignored them. If he needed space, I’d give it to him even if it killed me.
“We should celebrate without the men,” Gianna muttered. “They’re only going to ruin everything.” She meant Luca, and I worried she was right. How could this Christmas be anything but a huge mess with the way things were?
I stepped out of the shower and had to grip the marble counter as a wave of dizziness hit me. I was nine weeks along and didn’t have a bump yet, but the pregnancy ruled my life anyway. I’d lost over ten pounds in the last three weeks because I couldn’t keep any food down. Dr. Brightley wasn’t concerned yet since the baby was developing as it should. I put on my underwear and stepped into the bedroom. Would Luca share a bed with me tonight?
“Fuck, Aria,” Gianna said, pursing her lips as she watched me. “You have lost so much weight.”
“You’re exaggerating,” I said lightly. I grabbed the cream-colored wool dress and pulled it on. It used to hug my curves but now it was loose.
Gianna raised her eyebrows. “That doesn’t look like exaggerating to me.”
“It’s nothing,” I said firmly.
Gianna stepped close. “You are so fucking pale. And those shadows under your eyes.” She shook her head. “You know what. We’ll only put on a bare minimum of makeup. Let him see what he does to you.”
I was too tired to protest and let her apply a hint of foundation and mascara.
“I’m going to kill him if he treats you like shit. I swear. I’m going to stick one of Matteo’s knives into his fucking cruel heart.”
“Gianna,” I said in warning. “I am the one who went behind his back.”
“You went to visit our little brother. Luca cheated on you with Grace only because you didn’t want to put out, and he didn’t tell you when Matteo asked our father for permission to marry me. And I bet he’s lied to you about more things we don’t know about, but only because you don’t obey him like a well-behaved dog, he feels betrayed. Stupid pride of Made Men.”
I wished it were only pride holding Luca back, but I knew it was more—it was darker and more powerful.
Lily knocked and poked her head in. “Dinner is done. Marianna says we can sit down.”
“Is he here?” I asked, hating how my voice broke.
Lily’s expression softened. “Yes, he and Matteo arrived fifteen minutes ago. They are downstairs with Romero.”
Gianna checked her reflection in my mirror. She, too, had barely seen Matteo because she preferred to stay with me, still mad at him, while he was with Luca in New York.