I read the intricate black inked letters: I’ll go where you go no matter how dark the path
The words I’d said to Luca shortly after our wedding. He remembered them. I sucked in a deep breath, pressing my lips together, but not crying was a losing battle. His two tattoos on both sides of his heart. Luca turned and stepped close to me, brushing away the tears. He pressed my palm against his Famiglia tattoo over his heart. “My oath came first, but the words on my back mean more.”
I swallowed. He wasn’t supposed to say something like that. For a Made Man the Famiglia came first, and even more so for a Capo. I nodded, brushed my lips over his. “Those words on your back, I mean them, Luca. I will follow you anywhere. Your darkness doesn’t scare me. I love you, your strength and loyalty, your tenderness and protectiveness. I love your gentle side, but just as much I love your darkness. I’ll love you in your darkest hour, I’ll love you even when you are weak, and if you need me to be your light, I will. I love every piece of you, Luca.”
He crushed me to his chest and I held him as tightly. His love was the greatest gift of all.It was April when Lily and Gianna came to visit. From the moment I’d seen Gianna, I knew something was up, but we didn’t get the chance to talk until one evening when Luca and Matteo were out on business and Romero was busy playing Scrabble with Lily. “You’re up to something, aren’t you?” I asked her as we enjoyed the view over New York from the rooftop terrace.
Gianna didn’t immediately reply, and that wasn’t normal for her. “I can’t do this, Aria. I want out. Out of this world. Out of my arranged marriage. Just out.”
I’d suspected something along this line but now that she voiced it aloud, worry and fear slammed into me. “You want to run?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
Gianna slanted me a look. There was no hint of doubt on her face. “Absolutely. Ever since the Bratva attacked the mansion and I saw what Matteo is capable of, I knew I had to run.”
“It’s not just Matteo, you know that, right? He isn’t any worse than any other Made Man.” Matteo could be funny and charming. I was sure Gianna and he could be happy if she allowed herself to let him in, but I knew her, knew how stubborn she could be. She wouldn’t let me talk her into giving Matteo a chance.
“That makes it even worse. I know that pretty much all the men in our world are capable of horrible things, and one day even Fabi will be, and I hate it, hate every second I’m trapped in this messed-up world.”
“I thought you and Matteo were getting along better. You didn’t try to rip each other’s heads off today.”
“He’s trying to manipulate me. Didn’t you see how easily he could make Lily forget her nervousness around him?”
“It could be worse. Most men wouldn’t have forgiven you for giving them such a hard time, but he really seems to like you.” I wasn’t sure if Luca would have let me mess with him like that.
“Are you on his side?”
I had no intention of choosing sides. “I’m not on his side. I’m just trying to show you an alternative to running away.”
“Why? You know I’ve never wanted this life. Why are you trying to make me stay?”
I gripped her wrist, getting angry. “Because I don’t want to lose you, Gianna!”
“You won’t lose me.”
“Yes, I will. Once you’ve run away, we can’t ever see each other again, maybe not even talk unless we figure out a way to do it without risking the mob tracing you.”
“I know,” Gianna whispered. “You could come with me.”
In the past I’d often resented the golden cage I’d been raised in, and even now I sometimes wondered how it would feel to wander through New York without Romero, to go to college and live life by only my own rules. “I can’t.”
She turned away from me. “Because you love Luca.”
There was a hint of disapproval in her voice, but I wouldn’t defend my feelings. Loving Luca wasn’t something I would never feel bad about. “Yes, but that’s not the only reason. I can’t leave Fabi and Lily behind either, and I’ve made peace with this life. It’s all I’ve ever known. I’m okay with it.”
“Do you think I’m abandoning them if I leave?”
“They’ll understand. Not everyone is cut out for a life in this world. You’ve always wanted to live a normal life, and they’ll still have me. You have to think of yourself. I just want you to be happy.”
“I don’t think I can be happy here.”
“Because you don’t want to marry a killer, because you can’t live with what Matteo does.”