“Then what were you doing?” She lifted her chin. “What did you want to talk about?”
He opened his mouth and closed it. She was giving him exactly what he’d asked for last night. What she promised she would give him. But he didn’t want that anymore. Didn’t want a clean break. What should he do? Maybe he was supposed to pretend he didn’t care. Pretend his nonexistent heart wasn’t breaking.
But the thing was…
He didn’t want to fucking pretend anymore. He’d been pretending not to care about her for years. He wouldn’t do it after last night. “Why don’t you want to talk to me?”
“I was scared.” She wrung her hands. “I didn’t know what to say to you after last night. Or how to act around you.”
He curled his fingers over his knees. “You act exactly the same. Nothing has changed between us. You’re still you, and I’m still me.”
She flinched. “Right. Of course it hasn’t. It was just sex. That’s all. Nothing changed between us.”
He narrowed his eyes. He might not know exactly how he felt about them, but he knew he didn’t like her saying that. “Is that how you really feel?”
“It’s what I expected out of last night.” She made a sweeping gesture with her hand, her face a little bit too pale for his liking. “I told you as much last night, did I not?”
He clenched his jaw. “Last night was—”
“I know.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I remember.”
“Yes. Exactly.” He took a deep breath and met her eyes. “So why are you pushing me away?”
She shrugged and looked down at the floor. “I’m not. I’m giving you what you wanted.”
“No, you’re not.” He stood up and crossed the room. He didn’t stop until he was directly in front of her. Closing his arms around her, he tilted her chin up to him. “Last night we talked about trying to be something. And now you’re pushing me away. Why?”
“I thought you were just saying those things to be nice.”
“I’m not fucking nice.” He dragged his hand through his hair, taking a steadying breath. Time to lay it all out on the line. “The question here is whether or not you regret what we did last night.”
“No. God, no.” She shook her head, her cheeks finally filling out with color. “It’s just…I woke up, and you were gone. I didn’t know what to think.”
Well, shit.
He got it now.
You’re a fucking idiot, Ross.
Brett looked up at the ceiling and groaned. “I didn’t run away, I left because I didn’t want anyone to see us together.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better.” She stumbled backward. “Are you regretting last night?”
“Christ. No. No. No. No.”
She raised a brow, a smile tilting her lips upward. “That’s a lot of nos.”
“It needs a lot of nos. I am not ashamed of you. I just don’t want them to know yet. In case you missed it, your brothers are a tad bit on the protective side.” He held up his hand and brought his thumb and forefinger together to emphasize the drastic understatement. “And they tend to get a little bit carried away with protecting you.”
“No, I hadn’t noticed,” she deadpanned.
His lips twitched, but he didn’t smile.
Didn’t let himself smile.
“If they knew we were doing”—he motioned between them, seeming to be at a loss for words—“this, they wouldn’t leave us alone. They would pounce on us, demanding definitions of our feelings before we even know what we are. I don’t know what we are yet, but I want to find out on our own without them breathing down our necks.”
She sank to the mattress, blinking up at him. Digging her fingers into the comforter, she held on tight. “So you want to be with me? Like, actually be with me?”
He sat beside her and peeled her hands off the blanket. Raising them to his mouth, he kissed her knuckles. “Yes. I’m sorry I left before you woke up. It was stupid.”
“Very stupid.” She locked eyes with him, and some unnamed emotion punched him in the chest. “You’ll have to make it up to me.”
“I’ll give you anything you want,” he vowed. “Just name it.”
She nibbled on her lower lip, her eyes rising to his. “You. Only you.”
“You have me.” He leaned in, capturing her mouth under his.
His tongue swept inside, finding hers instantly. Her hands curled into his shirt, pulling him closer. His heart thudded in his ears, and happiness almost overpowered him. How could he go from wanting to curl up in a ball and die a few minutes ago to this sheer satisfaction he now felt?