Jack would’ve burned them, but I kept them locked in this box, never opening it and yet keeping it in plain sight, as a constant reminder of what losing control of your own life does to you.
Never again.
“Easton?” I heard a voice come from behind me.
I forced a deep breath.
“Easton,” Jack’s voice repeated. “What the hell happened?”
“You need to leave,” I demanded, hurriedly taking the handfuls of paper and stuffing them into my arms.
“Easton, what are you doing?” He stopped next to me, but I ignored him.
Dropping to his knees, he grabbed a piece of paper and studied it as I took my armful to the kitchen to find a gallon bag to keep them in for now. This pile of trash had kept me on a straight track for five years.
“Easton, stop!” Jack called. “How did you get these?”
I charged back into the living room, grabbing more scraps from the floor, pushing the pieces of wood out of the way to get every bit of paper.
“Easton.” Jack grabbed my arm. “You can’t keep them!”
I pulled away, gritting my teeth as I marched back into the kitchen and stuffed everything in bags.
But Jack dove around me, taking the bags out of my hands.
“Leave me alone!” I shouted.
“Like hell!” he bellowed. “You’re not keeping all of this. It’s sick!”
My whole body felt tight, and I growled, shoving at his chest.
But he just dropped the bags and pulled me into his arms, wrapping them around me.
I instantly closed my eyes and shattered.
My chest shook, and I collapsed against him, sobbing. “Jack, please,” I begged.
“I’m sorry, Easton,” he nearly whispered, and I could feel his short breaths as his chest shook. “I’m so sorry.”
I hated this. My brother had suffered enough. Suffering he shouldn’t have had to go through if it weren’t for me, and here I was again, center stage with the drama.
No more.
I pulled away, pushing at his chest to distance myself. “I don’t need to be taken care of.”
I stared up into his eyes and narrowed my own, forcing my tough outer shell into place. “Stop worrying about me and stop interfering,” I demanded.
And I circled around him, picked up the ziplock bags, and ran upstairs.
On Monday I left school after the bell, having changed into my workout clothes, and crossed into Audubon Park for a jog. It was something I did every Monday and Wednesday, but instead of hanging around school a few extra minutes like I’d done the last week in some pathetic hope that Tyler would seek me out, I just left.
I’d spent the entire day yesterday filing a police report about the break-in, and then I’d cleaned the house from top to bottom, removing any trace that someone had been in my home.
This morning, before I’d left for school, I’d remade my bed twice, checking the corners, and then checked to make sure the windows were locked and all of the cabinets were closed.
Four times.
I’d pushed my car locks eight times, and I’d counted my steps into the school.
And then I’d sat down at my desk and laid my head in my arms, crying my eyes out before first period, because I didn’t want to be scared anymore.
I didn’t want to be like this.
I wanted to be how I was with him.
Not that Tyler could save me, but I’d been happy.
I was in love with him.
But I refused to miss him.
Tyler couldn’t make me feel better anymore, and I wouldn’t let him fix me.
So I dried my eyes and decided no more. I didn’t know who had been in my apartment, but I would be the one to deal with it. I’d called the police and reported it, deciding that I wouldn’t try to handle it quietly like my parents had. Instead, I’d be proactive and not sit and wait for anything.
I pounded the pavement, sweat running down my back as I completed my eighth lap and kept going. Shaman’s Harvest’s “Dangerous” charged my muscles, giving me the energy that my mood had depleted, and I started to feel more like myself for the first time in a long time.
It was a little chilly today, but I wasn’t feeling it, despite the white workout tank and black shorts I wore.
I stuffed my earbud back in my ear, as it had started to fall out, but then something slapped me on the ass, and I jerked to a halt, yanking both earbuds out.
“Hey.” Kristen jogged in place next to me. “You actually do this for fun?”
She smiled sweetly, looking a little comical, because she was losing her breath but trying to hide it.
I shook my head at her and continued jogging, not caring if she kept up. “What are you doing here?”
“Well,” she breathed out. “I always see you run out of school at the end of the day in your workout clothes to go jog, and I think to myself… I could do that,” she mused.
I couldn’t help it. I snorted, my chest shaking.
“Made you laugh.” She gloated. “You haven’t been smiling the past few days – actually the past week – so I consider that my special skill.”
“What?” I grumbled, trying to sound annoyed.
“Making you crack a smile,” she pointed out. “I’m sure not everyone can do it. I might be like your hetero soul mate. Your other half.”
I rolled my eyes, the breeze flying under the canopy of trees cooling my skin.
“I’m fine,” I stated. “The honeymoon is over, is all. Teaching finally got hard.”
“Amen, sister,” she shot back. “But if I had your technique in the classroom, I’m sure I’d be very happy with my class. At least you’re not dealing with behavioral issues up the butt.”