Then she opened her mouth and he knew he was finished. “I’ve got you in my heart, Mason Black, so I’m hoping you’ve got room for me right here in yours.”
He didn’t deserve a woman like her, and that was the truth.
“Maddie—” The hopeful look on her face about killed him. Damn it. She’d fallen in love with his cover story and she needed to know the truth. She wanted to marry him. She’d believed every word he’d given her, and now she thought he was her Mr. Perfect. Shame flooded him. There were lines no man should cross, and he’d driven the emotional equivalent of a fucking Humvee over them.
“Maddie—” He said her name again, but finding words to come next was hard.
“Oh, my God.” She froze on top of him, smile fading. “You’re telling me no.”
“It’s not that.” It was precisely that.
“Are you married? Am I an idiot? Of course I am.”
That almost made him choke. “You’re not an idiot.” Because that honor went to him. How had he possibly thought any of this was a good idea? He’d had sex with her...and now look where that had gotten them.
Into bed and then into a huge heap of trouble.
His first response to her proposal was a hell no. He couldn’t handle being married again. He could admit that to himself. As a SEAL, he’d trained to never accept less than his personal best from himself, and his first marriage had been an epic failure. He’d made promises to love and honor forever, but his forever had lasted a lousy eighteen months.
“It’s me,” he said, and her lips tightened. Now that he had his shock dialed back, her proposal was actually kind of sweet. Fantastic, too, if he was being honest.
Except he didn’t do honesty, did he? Any more than he did marriage.
“Are you trying to check all the boxes in the breakup-speech-clichés list?” She stared down at him, her face a mask of embarrassment and hurt. She didn’t move, though, and he wondered if she even knew her thighs were gripping his hips. She flushed angrily, her eyes taking on a wet sheen. He couldn’t tell if she was angry, sad or a combination of both. God. What if she cried?
“I’m not married,” he said carefully, uncomfortably aware that he wasn’t telling her the entire truth. Because if he was lucky enough to have a woman like Maddie as his own? There was no way in hell he’d cheat on her. “I’m divorced.”
Maddie’s mouth flew open, and he could practically hear her playing mental Ro Sham Bo to pick the first question to ask.
“I don’t want to discuss Bethany,” he said, right as his pager went off, recalling him to their base camp for immediate deployment. Fuck. Seriously? Uncle Sam had the worst timing ever. Surely whatever needed to be blown up or assaulted could have waited a couple of minutes more. “I have to go.”
She glared down at him. “So that’s it? That’s the best you can do? I don’t even merit the ‘honey, I work for the CIA and now I have to go’ excuse? Because it’s actually okay to just say ‘no, thank you’ to a marriage proposal.” Hitching in a breath, she swallowed hard. “In fact, the thank-you is entirely optional and could be replaced with something else.”
Yeah. He had no problem imagining the alternatives running through her head. She shoved off him. Unfortunately, he should have shifted her off his dick before he told her the truth. While he sucked in a pained breath, she shot upright.
“I just proposed to you.” She looked horrified. At least she didn’t look as though she was going to cry anymore. And he...still had no idea what to say, not that she was waiting around for him to explain. She bolted out of the bed, and that was his cue to get up and go to work. Her bed. Her heart.
Her rules.
12
I threw my first wedding yesterday! Okay, so it was more of a dress rehearsal, because no one was actually getting married, although I did score some awesome pics for you all. Mr. Fantasy Fodder came out to assist, seriously upping the hot-scenery quota while he helped set up the bridal arch. Weddings are a good look for him, and let’s just say that the man knows his way around a palm tree...and he’s a 12 out of 10 on the kissing scale. You all voted for Sex on the Beach in our last poll, and who says I can’t take direction? I did my best to get busy on a palm tree, and let’s just say that, while it was kinky awesomeness, our strategic retreat to the bedroom was a wise move. I’ve got palm-tree burn today!