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My grandfather (but it was not my grandfather; it was really a waxwork of my grandfather, intent on selling me to anatomy) held something sharp and glittering, and he began pushing it into my mouth with his stubby fingers. It was hard and sharp and familiar, and it made me gag and choke. My mouth filled with a metallic taste.

They were looking at me with mean, triumphant eyes, all the people in the boys’ toilets, and I tried not to choke on the thing in my throat, determined not to give them that satisfaction.

I woke and I was choking.

I could not breathe. There was something in my throat, hard and sharp and stopping me from breathing or from crying out. I began to cough as I woke, tears streaming down my cheeks, nose running.

I pushed my fingers as deeply as I could into my mouth, desperate and panicked and determined. I felt the edge of something hard with the tip of my forefinger, put the middle finger on the other side of it, choking myself, clamping the thing between them, and I pulled whatever it was out of my throat.

I gasped for breath, and then I half vomited on to my bedsheets, threw up a clear drool flecked with blood, from where the thing had cut my throat as I had pulled it out.

I did not look at the thing. It was tight in my hand, slimy with my saliva and my phlegm. I did not want to look at it. I did not want it to exist, the bridge between my dream and the waking world.

I ran down the hallway to the bathroom, at the far end of the house. I washed my mouth out, drank directly from the cold tap, spat red into the white sink. Only when I’d done that did I sit on the side of the white bathtub and open my hand. I was scared.

But what was in my hand – what had been in my throat – wasn’t scary. It was a coin: a silver shilling.

I went back to the bedroom. I dressed myself, cleaned the vomit from my sheets as best I could with a damp face flannel. I hoped that the sheets would dry before I had to sleep in the bed that night. Then I went downstairs.

I wanted to tell someone about the shilling, but I did not know who to tell. I knew enough about adults to know that if I did tell them what had happened, I would not be believed. Adults rarely seemed to believe me when I told the truth anyway. Why would they believe me about something so unlikely?

My sister was playing in the back garden with some of her friends. She ran over to me angrily when she saw me. She said, ‘I hate you. I’m telling Mummy and Daddy when they come home.’

‘What?’

‘You know,’ she said. ‘I know it was you.’

‘What was me?’

‘Throwing coins at me. At all of us. From the bushes. That was just nasty.’

‘But I didn’t.’

‘It hurt.’

She went back to her friends, and they all glared at me. My throat felt painful and ragged.

I walked down the drive. I don’t know where I was thinking of going – I just didn’t want to be there any longer.

Lettie Hempstock was standing at the bottom of the drive, beneath the chestnut trees. She looked as if she had been waiting for a hundred years and could wait for another hundred. She wore a white dress, but the light coming through the chestnut’s young spring leaves stained it green.

I said, ‘Hello.’

She said, ‘You were having bad dreams, weren’t you?’

I took the shilling out of my pocket and showed it to her. ‘I was choking on it,’ I told her. ‘When I woke up. But I don’t know how it got into my mouth. If someone had put it into my mouth, I would have woken up. It was just in there, when I woke.’

‘Yes,’ she said.

‘My sister says I threw coins at them from the bushes, but I didn’t.’

‘No,’ she agreed. ‘You didn’t.’

I said, ‘Lettie? What’s happening?’

‘Oh,’ she said, as if it was obvious. ‘Someone’s just trying to give people money, that’s all. But it’s doing it very badly, and it’s stirring things up around here that should be asleep. And that’s not good.’

‘Is it something to do with the man who died?’

‘Something to do with him. Yes.’

‘Is he doing this?’

She shook her head. Then she said, ‘Have you had breakfast?’

I shook my head.

‘Well then,’ she said. ‘Come on.’

We walked down the lane together. There were a few houses down the lane, here and there, back then, and she pointed to them as we went past. ‘In that house,’ said Lettie Hempstock, ‘a man dreamed of being sold and of being turned into money. Now he’s started seeing things in mirrors.’

‘What kinds of things?’

‘Himself. But with fingers poking out of his eye sockets. And things coming out of his mouth. Like crab claws.’

I thought about people with crab legs coming out of their mouths, in mirrors. ‘Why did I find a shilling in my throat?’

‘He wanted people to have money.’

‘The opal miner? Who died in the car?’

‘Yes. Sort of. Not exactly. He started this all off, like someone lighting a fuse on a firework. His death lit the touchpaper. The thing that’s exploding right now, that isn’t him. That’s somebody else. Something else.’

She rubbed her freckled nose with a grubby hand.

‘A lady’s gone mad in that house,’ she told me, and it would not have occurred to me to doubt her. ‘She has money in the mattress. Now she won’t get out of bed, in case someone takes it from her.’

‘How do you know?’

She shrugged. ‘Once you’ve been around for a bit, you get to know stuff.’

I kicked a stone. ‘By “a bit”, do you mean “a really long time”?’

She nodded.

‘How old are you, really?’ I asked.

‘Eleven.’

I thought for a while. Then I asked, ‘How long have you been eleven for?’

She smiled at me.

We walked past Caraway Farm. The farmers, whom one day I would come to know as Callie Anders’ parents, were standing in their farmyard, shouting at each other. They stopped when they saw us.

When we rounded a bend in the lane, and were out of sight, Lettie said, ‘Those poor people.’

‘Why are they poor people?’

‘Because they’ve been having money problems. And this morning he had a dream where she … she was doing bad things. To earn money. So he looked in her handbag and found lots of folded-up ten-shilling notes. She says she doesn’t know where they came from, and he doesn’t believe her. He doesn’t know what to believe.’

‘All the fighting and the dreams. It’s about money, isn’t it?’

‘I’m not sure,’ said Lettie, and she seemed so grown-up then that I was almost scared of her.

‘Whatever’s happening,’ she said, eventually, ‘it can all be sorted out.’ She saw the expression on my face then, worried. Scared even. And she said, ‘After pancakes.’

Lettie cooked us pancakes on a big metal griddle, on the kitchen stove. They were paper thin, and as each pancake was done, Lettie would squeeze lemon on to it, and plop a blob of plum jam into the centre, and roll it tightly, like a cigar. When there were enough, we sat at the kitchen table and wolfed them down.

There was a hearth in that kitchen, and there were ashes still smouldering in the hearth, from the night before. That kitchen was a friendly place, I thought.

I said to Lettie, ‘I’m scared.’

She smiled at me. ‘I’ll make sure you’re safe. I promise. I’m not scared.’

I was still scared, but not as much. ‘It’s just scary.’

‘I said I promise,’ said Lettie Hempstock. ‘I won’t let you be hurt.’

‘Hurt?’ said a high, cracked voice. ‘Who’s hurt? What’s been hurt? Why would anybody be hurt?’

It was old Mrs Hempstock, her apron held between her hands, and in the hollow of the apron so many daffodils that the light reflected up from them transformed her face to gold, and the kitchen seemed bathed in yellow light.

Lettie said, ‘Something’s causing trouble. It’s giving people money. In their dreams and in real life.’ She showed the old lady my shilling. ‘My friend found himself choking on this shilling when he woke up this morning.’

Old Mrs Hempstock put her apron on the kitchen table, rapidly moved the daffodils off the cloth and on to the wood. Then she took the shilling from Lettie. She squinted at it, sniffed it, rubbed at it, listened to it (or put it to her ear, at any rate), then touched it with the tip of her purple tongue.

‘It’s new,’ she said, at last. ‘It says 1912 on it, but it didn’t exist yesterday.’

Lettie said, ‘I knew there was something funny about it.’

I looked up at old Mrs Hempstock. ‘How do you know?’

‘Good question, luvvie. It’s electron decay, mostly. You have to look at things closely to see the electrons. They’re the little dinky ones that look like tiny smiles. The neutrons are the grey ones that look like frowns. The electrons were all a bit too smiley for 1912, so then I checked the sides of the letters and the old King’s head, and everything was a tad too crisp and sharp. Even where they were worn, it was as if they’d been made to be worn.’

‘You must have very good eyesight,’ I told her. I was impressed. She gave me back the coin.

‘Not as good as it once was, but then, when you get to be my age, your eyesight won’t be as sharp as it once was, neither.’ And she let out a guffaw as if she had said something very funny.

‘How old is that?’

Lettie looked at me, and I was worried that I’d said something rude. Sometimes adults didn’t like to be asked their ages, and sometimes they did. In my experience, old people did. They were proud of their ages. Mrs Wollery was seventy-seven, and Mr Wollery was eighty-nine, and they liked telling us how old they were.

Old Mrs Hempstock went over to a cupboard, and took out several colourful vases. ‘Old enough,’ she said. ‘I remember when the moon was made.’

‘Hasn’t there always been a moon?’

‘Bless you. Not in the slightest. I remember the day the moon came. We looked up in the sky – it was all dirty brown and sooty grey here then, not green and blue …’ She half filled each of the vases at the sink. Then she took a pair of blackened kitchen scissors, and snipped off the bottom half-inch of stem from each of the daffodils.

I said, ‘Are you sure it’s not that man’s ghost doing this? Are you sure we aren’t being haunted?’

They both laughed then, the girl and the old woman, and I felt stupid. I said, ‘Sorry.’

‘Ghosts can’t make things,’ said Lettie. ‘They aren’t even good at moving things.’

Old Mrs Hempstock said, ‘Go and get your mother. She’s doing laundry.’ Then, to me, ‘You shall help me with the daffs.’

I helped her put the flowers into the vases, and she asked my opinion on where to put the vases in the kitchen. We placed them where I suggested, and I felt wonderfully important.

The daffodils sat like patches of sunlight, making that dark wooden kitchen even more cheerful. The floor was red flagstone. The walls were whitewashed.

The old woman gave me a lump of honeycomb, from the Hempstocks’ own beehive, on a chipped saucer, and poured a little cream over it from a jug. I ate it with a spoon, chewing the wax like gum, letting the honey flow into my mouth, sweet and sticky with an aftertaste of wild flowers.

I was scraping the last of the cream and honey from the saucer when Lettie and her mother came into the kitchen. Mrs Hempstock still had big wellington boots on, and she strode in as if she were in an enormous hurry. ‘Mother!’ she said. ‘Giving the boy honey. You’ll rot his teeth.’

Old Mrs Hempstock shrugged. ‘I’ll have a word with the wigglers in his mouth,’ she said. ‘Get them to leave his teeth alone.’

‘You can’t just boss bacteria around like that,’ said the younger Mrs Hempstock. ‘They don’t like it.’

‘Stuff and silliness,’ said the old lady. ‘You leave wigglers alone and they’ll be carrying on like anything. Show them who’s boss and they can’t do enough for you. You’ve tasted my cheese.’ She turned to me. ‘I’ve won medals for my cheese. Medals. Back in the old King’s day there were those who’d ride for a week to buy a round of my cheese. They said that the King himself had it with his bread, and his boys, Prince Dickon and Prince Geoffrey and even little Prince John, they swore it was the finest cheese they had ever tasted …’

‘Gran,’ said Lettie, and the old lady stopped, mid flow.

Lettie’s mother said, ‘You’ll be needing a hazel wand. And,’ she added, somewhat doubtfully, ‘I suppose you could take the lad. It’s his coin, and it’ll be easier to carry if he’s with you. Something she made.’


Tags: Neil Gaiman Horror