“It was good.” I didn’t remember anything from the meeting. When called upon to speak, I had to shake myself out of a daze, and after that, I couldn’t recall what incoherent words came out of my mouth.
“Are you okay?” Evie sat on the opposite side of the booth, eyes narrowed as she brought her glass of water to her lips.
“Yeah. Why?”
“You sound off. Like you’re down or something. Not your usual jovial self.”
“Just tired. The trail kicked my butt today.”
“And you got rained on, correct?” She smirked.
“I did,” I mumbled, trying to accompany my reply with a smile. She was right. I felt as off as I sounded to her. An impenetrable, invisible wall thwarted my efforts to act fine—a dozen ghosts in a room and only I could see them. They haunted me and only me.
“Well, let’s stuff ourselves on pizza, get little princess and Mr. Library Boy down for the night, and then crawl into bed early too.”
“I’m not tired,” Franz replied, flipping through one of his books.
I forced the fakest-feeling grin, an invisible gun shoved into the back of my head. The fact that it felt forced at all kicked me in the gut. What the hell was wrong with me?
Evelyn saved me by filling the dinner conversation with hopes to drive out to California to visit her dad and sister. I nodded on cue, busying myself by helping Franz with his pizza and holding his drink so he didn’t spill it. Anya kept Evelyn distracted which made my lack of engagement a little less noticeable.
After we returned home, I trudged through brushing tiny teeth, corralling wiggly bodies into jammies, and reading library books while Evelyn picked up the mess in the living room and enjoyed a hot shower. By the time she emerged from the steam-filled bathroom, my body hugged the edge of the bed, eyes closed.
“You should have been lazy with me and the kids today.” She pressed her naked body to the back of mine, ghosting her lips down my spine as her hand slipped into the front of my briefs.
I swallowed, squeezing my eyes shut tighter as my body stiffened—everything except the part of it that needed to be stiff. Over five years of marriage, forty-one years of life, and never did I have issues getting an erection.
Degrading.
Embarrassing.
Emasculating.
Un-fucking-believable.
Forcing myself to relax didn’t help. Forced plus relaxed didn’t equal erection. They were oxymorons. Evelyn’s hand slid back out of my briefs, leaving her body idle next to mine for several minutes—long, excruciating minutes. It felt like someone choking the life out of me all over again, only the invisible force had ahold of my dick instead of my neck, cutting off the circulation. Of course, Evelyn said nothing and did nothing. A regrettable moment that left a permanent mark, the first time her hand held my cock in a limp state. Normally, just her proximity made me hard. She could give me an erection from a smile or the slightest whiff of her flowery scent.
The sway of her hips.
The way her hair brushed along the swell of her breasts.
The purr of my name on her lips.
Literally anything.
Until that moment.
No explanation existed. Yet, I had to say something. It fucking killed me. I couldn’t blame it on not feeling well, a logical explanation and the closest to the actual truth—or so I thought since I didn’t know the true reason. My wellbeing set off all kinds of alarms in Evelyn’s head, and rightfully so. That left me with an explanation as lame as my goddamn dick.
“I’m really tired. And I may have strained my groin muscle on the hike.”
“Oh … sorry.” She kissed my back, letting her warm lips linger between my shoulder blades. “Night.”
“Night.”
CHAPTER TWO
Evelyn
“The Rockies lost.”
I glanced up from the register when Graham waltzed into my shop. He gave the lady sampling some lotion an easy nod. Her blush said she instantly recognized him. How could she not recognize Graham Porter, hands down the most handsome governor of all fifty states? His two guys waited for him by the door as he closed in on me.
“Where’s your employee?”
I jerked my head toward the back. “Cleaning my lab.”
He smirked. “I love that you call your glorified storage room a lab. It makes you sound like a real scientist.”
I narrowed my eyes, imagining all kinds of bodily harm I could do to him, before retreating to the back room with Graham right behind me. “Sophie, can you watch the front while I privately insult the governor?”
Even Sophie showed her lack of immunity to Graham’s enigmatic aura. She bit her bottom lip, unable to keep from looking incredibly flirty. “You got it.”
After the door shut behind her, I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest, my usual position when talking to Graham, especially when he seemed to be in an overly self-assured mood. “I didn’t watch the Rockies. I also didn’t bet on them. Did you fly up here just to talk baseball?”