Narrowing my eyes at her complete insanity, I nod my head toward the door. “They’re downstairs right now?”
“Yes.”
I move toward the door.
“No. Stop! Just let me tell you first.”
I frown. “Make it quick.”
She blows out a slow breath, her hands gripping both of my arms as she peers up at me. “Mr. Hans and Hunter are meeting her parents at Disneyland. They’re renting a place for four days and doing all the fun stuff at the parks! And Mr. Hans said Gabe and I are invited too! Oh my gosh! PLEASE say yes! You HAVE to say yes!”
“Morgan—”
“Daaad! PLEASE!” She drops to her knees and folds her hands in front of her. I have seen many sides to my daughter, but this level of begging and complete desperation is new.
In ten years, I’ve been away from her overnight just once. I left her with her nanny while I went to a conference, but I trusted her nanny completely. And they were confined to the house. Disneyland with Mr. Hans and Hunter’s parents, whom I have not met, is a much different scenario.
“While you pick up the pieces of your crumbled self, I’m going downstairs to talk to Mr. Hans.” I take a step toward the door, and she dives for my leg, wrapping her arms around it.
Who is this girl?
I keep moving with her attached to my leg. She releases me when we get to the stairs, hot on my heels as I descend them to a smiling Hunter and Mr. Hans waiting in the entry.
“Good morning.” I return a smile. “So I hear there’s been a grand invitation to Disneyland?”
Mr. Hans chuckles. “Yes. My hearing isn’t the best, but I heard Morgan giving you the details.”
I nod slowly, shooting Morgan a quick glance. Her face is red, her nose scrunched, like this is torture.
“We’re leaving this afternoon. I know it’s short notice, but when Hunter’s parents decided to rent a place that houses six, she was quick to do the math and ask me if Morgan and Gabe could come too since Morgan has apparently never been?” He furrows his brow as if he can’t believe that’s true.
“No. She hasn’t seen Disney.” I refrain from mentioning all the wonders of the world that she has seen that are a million times better than Disney.
“Well, we’d love for her to come, but only if you’re comfortable with it. I’m not trying to pressure you.”
“Is Gabe going?”
“Gracelyn said if Morgan goes, he can go,” Hunter says, tightening her long, blond ponytail.
Great. Now Gabe’s fun fate is all on me too. How kind of Gracelyn to drop this decision in my lap.
“Well, I need to take a jog and clear my head before making this decision.”
“Gracelyn leaves for work at noon, so you have to make your decision before she leaves.” Hunter grimaces as she sets the countdown clock.
I glance at my watch. “It’s eight. I’ll be back by nine and make my decision by ten. Does that work for everyone?”
Mr. Hans chuckles, resting his hand on Hunter’s shoulder. “That’s fine. And it’s okay if you’re not comfortable with it. We’ll find plenty of other fun stuff to do later if Hunter comes back to visit.”
“It’s not okay,” Morgan mumbles beside me.
“Enjoy your jog. Let’s go, Hunter. How do pancakes sound today?”
“With blueberries like Grandma used to make?”
“I’ll see what I can come up with.” He leads her out the door.
As soon as they’re at the bottom of the deck stairs, I reach for my running shoes.
“It’s going to be no, isn’t it? It’s always no. You never want me to do anything without you. You’re always worried that something will happen to me.”
“You mean, I love you,” I mumble back to her as I finish tying my shoes.
“Why don’t you put me in a fish tank or a bird cage? Why don’t you just lock me in my room? Then you don’t have to worry about me making friends or scraping my knee or kissing a boy. You don’t have to worry about me falling in love, getting married, and dying like Mom did.”
“Morgan …” I turn just as she runs up the stairs and slams her bedroom door shut.
Perched at the screen door with my hands on each side, I watch the array of seabirds flock to the shore, squawking and pecking at each other and the scraps of food and trash that have littered parts of the shoreline. I think of how hard I worked to make it through school, to become a professor … how hard I worked to convince Jenna that she should date me. I think of how long we waited to have Morgan because we wanted to be ready. We waited for the “perfect” moment.
Then I think of Jenna dying. I think of my best friend dying tragically before I ever reached the age of reason. I think of everything I’ve tried to control in my life and where it’s gotten me. If I wanted to keep Morgan in a glass box, I wouldn’t have packed our bags and set out to conquer the world.