Her words play in my head for a few seconds. “I suppose, but for me, it’s been ten years. I don’t feel like I’m looking for a piece to a puzzle.”
“Can you honestly say when you kissed me, you weren’t thinking about your wife? Because I was … I was comparing you to every man I’ve kissed before you.”
“Yeah? Well, how did I compare?”
I can’t see her face, but I want to believe she’s grinning as much as I am. “I’m not sure. It was too unexpected.”
“Sounds like a solid reason to try it again.”
Gracelyn laughs. “So two? We kiss once more, and then we’re done kissing? This is so … weird. I have never discussed kissing with any guy before you.”
“No?”
“No.” More chuckling. “It’s not something you discuss. You just … do it.”
“Noted.”
She sits up, turning to face the railing, crossing her legs in front of her. “Noted, huh? So now you’re taking notes about me? Will I make it into one of your future books? Maybe a novella about your summer in San Diego. Will you use my real name? Will you mention my great ass?”
“Great Ass will be the chapter right after Clipper Disaster.”
“Real funny.”
I take a seat on the balcony, resting my back against the door and sliding my knees toward my chest. “What are you thinking about … out here, alone, staring at the stars?”
She releases a heavy sigh. “Just … my life. How I got to this point. How I’m supposed to navigate the future with a young boy. Kyle and Emily left me with this responsibility that goes beyond feeding him three meals a day and driving him to school. I have to consider the friends he has and their influence. I have to think about his life after high school. Will I have what it takes to make sure he’s armed with everything he needs to be successful in life? Look at me. I’m not exactly the picture of success.”
“You’ll be fine.”
“You don’t know that.”
She’s right. I don’t.
Easing my head back against the door, I look for my own answers in the stars. “Jenna and I agreed that we would travel the world with Morgan while she was young. We’d school her by letting her learn from life and different cultures. We wanted her to be so much greater—have so much more knowledge and awareness than she would have ever received inside four walls with a massive herd of her peers. So I did it … I honored our dream for Morgan even after Jenna died. Now, I have this young girl who is too smart for her own good, too mature in some ways, and cultured beyond anything ninety-nine percent of her peers could ever imagine. I’m faced with the very real possibility that she won’t fit in when she goes to school. And as much as I can get defensive and make excuses, like any kids who don’t like her are just stupid and not worth her time, the truth is she wants to fit in. Morgan doesn’t want to be different, smarter, more cultured. She wants girlfriends who will paint her nails and boyfriends who will make her smile.”
“Nate … she will thank you for what you did. Maybe not on day one of public school, but someday she will thank you for giving her the world in the first ten years of her life. Morgan’s future is going to be so bright. I can’t even imagine how profoundly different my life would be had my parents been able to give me what you’ve given Morgan.”
I smile even though she can’t see me. “Are you just saying that to make me feel better?”
“Absolutely. Hard truth? She’s going to get a computer, cellphone, and boyfriend, and you’ll be an afterthought.”
Barking out a laugh, I shake my head. “Remind me not to come to you when I need my next pep talk.”
“I’ll remind you not to come to me for anything. All my good advice and worthy pep talks are saved for Gabe. Everyone else gets the sludge from my brain, the insight from the morals of my tragic stories.”
“The only thing tragic about you, Elvis, is that you’ve given up on men.”
She grabs the railing and pulls herself to standing, drumming her fingers on the rail a few times. “I didn’t give up on them … they gave up on me. Night, Nate.” Gracelyn disappears into her bedroom. The door lock clicks behind her two seconds before she closes her blinds.
“Night, Gracelyn,” I whisper, enjoying the slight cool breeze under a blanket of clear night sky.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Gracelyn
“Miss me?” I ask Gabe when he hops in the vehicle with his overnight bag.
“It was one night.” He shuts the door and fastens his seatbelt.
“Well, I missed you.”
“Now you sound like my mom.”
“Sorry.” I back out of the driveway and head toward home. After a few minutes of thinking about it, I can’t keep my mouth shut. “Actually, I’m not sorry I sounded like your mom. I’ve been so worried that I’m doing everything wrong. Maybe missing you when you’re gone overnight is actually doing something right.”