Without hesitation, he called the number, eager to hear her voice.
“Where is she?”
Jackson closed his eyes with the immediate recognition of the voice on the other end of the line. “Do you really have such little regard for your life? Your family’s? Hang up. Destroy your phone. And forget about her.”
“Jude,” he whispered.
Jackson felt Luke’s pain, his desperation. Since meeting Ryn, he felt everything. Feelings had no discrimination. They were all or nothing. Humanity existed in the balance between the polarity of pain and pleasure.
“Where are you?”
“Home,” Luke answered.
“How did the phone get here?”
“A friend.”
“How did you get the address?”
“The hotel in Houston. Where is she?”
“Luke … you don’t—”
“So help me, if you try to tell me I don’t understand I’m going to fucking lose it. I know about Aric, I know he died, I know—”
“What? You know our parents were murdered? You know we faked our deaths? Bet you didn’t know she could have brought you too. She chose to leave you behind. It was her choice. Jess loved you, but she fell in love with another man and she’s mourning his loss. I don’t know where she’s at and that’s the truth. Her phone is sitting here on our table. She’s upset with me … she’s upset with life. I can’t bring her back until she’s ready. I respect you, Luke, I really do, but Jessica doesn’t want to be found. Not by you and not by me. If you love her, you’ll let her go.”
“I was an hour away from marrying her. I feel like my wife died. I feel like another man took my wife. I feel like my wife needs me now more than ever. I can’t let her go … I can’t fucking breathe. Let them kill me because I’m already dead.”
“I’m sure your parents and siblings would disagree.”
“Don’t make me feel like some selfish bastard for loving her. Long before the day of our wedding, I chose her—over everyone else.”
“But she didn’t choose you.”
Luke chuckled, it had a condescending tone. “You’re wrong. She left me because she didn’t choose herself. She’s never chosen herself because she’s never felt worthy of that kind of happiness. That was supposed to be my job. I was supposed to spend the rest of my life proving to my wife that she is worthy of every goddamn thing she could ever want.”
Jackson plopped down in the chair. Defeat crept into his conscience, a conscience that had been a sealed vault for over a decade. Ryn cracked that vault, infecting him with unwelcome feelings of empathy. With that empathy came accountability. He didn’t want to be accountable for Luke’s inability to breathe or his suicide mission to find Jessica.
“I’ll let her know you’re looking for her if she decides to come home.”
“Dammit! How can you be her fucking twin and not see that something’s wrong? She’s not like you, Jude. Holing up as a recluse has never been her thing. The strength on the outside masks the most fragile soul on the inside. She needs people, it’s why she clung to Kelly in college and had tea with your mom every weekend. It’s why she craved every minute in the garage working on cars with your dad and sparred with you. If she loved this Aric guy, then she has to be in so much pain, and whatever you did to piss her off has driven her away from the only person she has and now she’s alone. Jessica doesn’t do alone. We have to find her. Something’s wrong. I saw her that day in Houston, a hollow shell of the woman I knew. So whatever the hell you did, make it right and help me find her.”
Jackson, Jude, never saw the desperate, out-of-control side to Luke. The great Dr. Jones carried himself with control and authority. His analytical mind insisted he always think before speaking. Jessica got under his skin. She ran through his veins and infected his mind.
“I can’t make it right—ever.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“I don’t give a fuck what you believe. You weren’t here. You didn’t see her dying right along with him. I had to put a stop to his pain. I had to save her.”
From one highly intelligent man to another, Jackson knew no further explanation would be necessary.
“I’ll find her.” Luke ended the call.
Jackson sent the phone flying across the room, crashing into the stone around the fireplace. “Goddammit!” Pressing the heels of his hands to his forehead, he gritted his teeth. “Fucking suicidal shrink.”
Luke’s total disregard for his own life would get him killed. Jillian would never ever take another breath if Luke died. Claire, their parents, and AJ seemed impossible to handle, but she did.
Luke? Never.
Jessica had what their parents never did. She had everything. If Luke died she would officially have nothing.