I think about what he said about beasts not being what they appear to be. Who we think they are. I think about his question to me but push that away. I can’t think about Kill that way—not as protector, not as lover. I’m his for one month. Just two more weeks to go. That’s all. As far as Callahan, I can’t think about that either because I don’t know what Kill’s done, if anything.
Helen tells me the time John will pick me up to drive me into the city. I have an hour so I reluctantly get up and drag myself into the shower. I feel like I’m on auto-pilot as I get ready, putting on makeup, lining my eyes more thickly than usual in darkest black, blow-drying my hair and pinning it into a twist, sweeping my bangs to the side. With fifteen minutes left to go, I unzip the garment bag to find the most beautiful gown I’ve ever seen inside. It’s the color of ashes of roses. I take it out of the bag. It’s strapless and floor-length with a high slit on one thigh. Tender flowers and delicate pearls adorn one side of the dress from breast to hip.
I take off the bathrobe I’m wearing and put on the dress. It’s a perfect fit, the material hugging my body in the most flattering way. I open the shoe box next, momentarily forgetting my troubles, momentarily feeling like a princess. Inside is a pair of pointy-toe pumps in a shade of champagne to complement the dress. I sit on the bed to put them on and wrap the pretty straps around my ankles. The heels are thin but I stand comfortably and with the additional four inches, the dress just touches the floor.
The last box is gift wrapped in a shade of blue with a white ribbon any woman will recognize. Carefully, I undo the bow and set it aside. I take the lid off the box and find a second box inside. I take it out, brush my fingers over the velvet, open it to find a pair of platinum drop earrings with three diamonds on each.
I put my hand to my mouth. These probably cost more than I make in a month. I take one out, handle it gently as I put it on. I repeat with the other and, keeping my gaze down, I walk to the full-length mirror.
A knock comes on the door. “John is here.” It’s Helen.
“I’ll be right out,” I say, before raising my eyes to my reflection, not allowing my gaze to linger there. Not allowing myself to dwell on thoughts of what can’t be.
22
Kill
I’ve been in New York for the last day and a half, but I haven’t been able to go back to the house.
Cilla lied to me.
I know the real truth. And it all makes sense. It all makes perfect, sick sense.
But I meant what I said—I’m no hero. I slew her dragon, but I’m not her hero. I can’t be.
I step off the elevator and survey the club. It’s Mea Culpa’s anniversary party. Tonight, the guest list is by invitation only. But it’s not the anniversary I’m celebrating. There’s a meeting tonight too. An important one. Fuck my timing.
“Killian,” Mrs. Borgado lays her hand on my forearm. She’s the wife of Bennie Borgado, cousin to the boss of one of the Detroit mob families.
I force a smile, but my eyes are on the door. I’m waiting for Cilla, who’s late.
“Mrs. Borgado, you look enchanting.” She’s in her mid-forties and attractive, but I’m not interested in her.
“Thank you, Killian. It’s quite the party you’ve put on.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Borgado.”
“Layne. I told you to call me Layne.”
“Layne,” I say, sipping my drink. The door opens and, just like it has every time it’s opened in the last half hour, my heart rate picks up. But it’s not her.
The door hasn’t quite closed when it’s pushed open again. My jaw tightens. I glance at Hugo who sees him at the same time I do. Benji. Fucking Benji crashing this party.
Chrissy runs in behind him.
“Excuse me,” I say to Mrs. Borgado, frankly relieved for the excuse to walk away. I meet Chrissy’s eye to let her know I’ve got this and greet my cousin just as he’s taking a drink off a passing server’s tray. “Ben. What are you doing here?”
“You’re having a party and didn’t invite me? I’m hurt.”
“You’re not hurt. You’re drunk.”
Hugo walks over. “Boss?”
I shake my head. “I got this.” I turn Ben away from the group. “What are you doing here, Ben? You knew the club was closed for a private party.”
“I got scared. What I told you the other day. What if they come after me?”
I exhale and it takes all I have not to shake my cousin to death. “I told you I’m not paying off this debt.”