“I love you,” he moans against my ear.
I will my heart to find comfort in his words, to realize he speaks the truth, but Clara’s always inside my head, screaming, “Run, live, find adventure!” Not having facts about what happened to Clara…I’ll never rest. Where is her heart? Why steal it? Anger boils through my blood, then sorrow and pain, combining into a fiery rage.
I give it all to Eli, disguise it as something else—desire, love.
I have many roads to travel to find justice for her, through shadows and darkness, but I will find the person who stole her from us—I will demand retribution from the heart thief.
Six
Mona
The hum of conversations flows around me, distorted by the sniffles of my mother still mourning the loss of her eldest child. She’s trying to cover up her grief, but I see her rubbing at her eyes. She’s not allowed to mourn the sinner, but even after five years, this day still cripples her. She will pay for her tears later when the guests have left.
My birthdays will never be the same. The day brings me no joy. All I think about is five years ago when I stood there in my black dress staring at the coffin with my sister inside. I felt empty then, and still feel it now.
Whispers about her death traveled like a breeze on the summer’s day through our village, everyone chasing the reprieve from their mundane lives. Clara’s story infected this place. Fear crept in and planted itself in the hearts of the youth, much to the joy of my father.
Don’t stray from the path of your leader because monsters lurk beyond our island, beyond his protection, and steal your heart.
A monster.
A heart thief.
Truth is, monsters are just evil people, and in order for there to be evil, there must also be good.
Blowing out the candles on my birthday cake brings a round of applause. But there’s a heavy tone despite the handmade decorations hanging from a nearby table.
It’s because I’m seeing a birthday my sister didn’t live past.
Five years to the day since the day she was found. I share my birthday with her death day. And in two hours, we’ll be ‘cleansing’ yet another unruly child for wanting to fly free.
“Did you make a wish?” my father asks. All eyes watch him like he’s a God.
“Sure did.” I smile tightly. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
My eighteenth isn’t the usual celebration. There’s no real party. Instead, we have half the island here to eat and talk about me marrying the village golden boy, settle down, have children. Yuck.
Eli would be a nice boy…but they don’t realize he likes to break the rules too if they benefit him. He longs to be in the inner circle, one of my father’s trusted men, speaks of belief and following rules, yet he frolics with the leader’s daughter—stole her innocence when she was fifteen years old.
“Katherine, cut the cake,” my father orders, and like a good servant, my mother jumps to obey him. Would she sit there and watch as I was forced to be cleansed? She’d never have to. I’d rather face a lifetime in my father’s dungeon.
She shut down after Clara’s death. My father put all his effort and focus into this religion. He created fear amongst our people about the world beyond our shorelines. Fear is a powerful motivator. How can they not see him for who he is? A prison warden. A punisher. This whole island is his jail.
Only those who go for supplies are permitted to leave while the rest of us are held captive. He makes kids fear the water—the only barrier between us and the monsters of the world. It only incites a craving inside me to leave this place more. I don’t fear the water or the monsters onshore.
“I hear Eli is going to ask for your hand in marriage finally.” Mary sidles up next to me, sadness in her eyes, but a smile on her lips. God forbid she admits her feelings for him or takes a risk to have something for herself.
“He will be a wonderful husband. You’re so lucky.”
A life with Eli flashes before my eyes. Mundane. Lonely. Unfulfilled. My lungs squeeze, expelling the air choking me. I try to drag in a breath, but can’t. A crack in my chest aches.
“Mona, are you okay?” Mary gasps, patting my back.
“I can’t breathe,” I wheeze. “I need air.” I pull from her and push out the front door, almost falling to the ground.
I’m suffocating..
This can’t be my life forever.
I pull my necklace from my pocket and clutch it tightly as the tears fall.
I miss her so damn much.
She was supposed to take me away from here.
She was supposed to come back for me.
Tears burn my eyes as memories haunt me.