I knew every crevice of Greenwich Village. But as I stood on the sidewalk on Bleecker Street, looking up and down the block, I couldn’t figure out which direction to go. Not a single restaurant from my favorites list was coming to me. Everything was fuzzy, like I didn’t have glasses on … except I did.
I started walking, and when the cold made my nose feel like someone was holding a burning match to the tip, I reached for the metal door handle and pulled it open. A ding went off as I entered. The smell of stale popcorn hit me. A light flickered in my face, and I wanted to shield my eyes; it was so bright.
There were rows, and I headed for them, pausing halfway down, staring at the bags, studying the pictures. Nacho cheese, sour cream and onion, salt and vinegar.
Nothing.
I went to the next aisle and the one after, reading more descriptions, gazing at more oversize pictures.
Waiting.
Listening.
There wasn’t a single grumble in my stomach. Not a drop of saliva in my mouth.
What is happening to me?
I went to the coolers in the back and grabbed a few coffee-flavored drinks—what I’d mostly been living on since the crash. I brought them up to the register.
“Hello,” the man behind the counter said as I placed the bottles in front of him.
I felt around my waist for my purse.
It wasn’t there. I’d left my apartment with just my jacket.
“Smile.”
I wasn’t sure what I’d been looking at, but now, my eyes were locked with his. “What did you say?”
“I bet your smile is much more beautiful than your frown.”
There was something in the back of my throat, and it was huge.
I just wanted to return to the days when I used to smile.
Right now, I couldn’t even remember what it felt like to lift my lips in that direction.
And I certainly didn’t need this stranger reminding me.
I left the bottles on the counter, turned my back to the man, and walked out the door.
I didn’t go home. I didn’t go to another store either, even after I found some cash in my pocket. I just walked through New York.
Because my feet and this city were the only two things that didn’t hurt.
TWENTY-EIGHT
HONEY
WINTER 1984
ANDREW DECIDED to take Honey to Virginia for Christmas. Even though they were living together and she had already met his family, Andrew didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable in his parents’ home, so he rented them a hotel in the capital. They took a late afternoon flight, and when they arrived, he brought her to the hotel’s spa for a massage, the first one she’d ever had.
After they got dressed for dinner, Andrew told her the restaurant wasn’t far, and they would be walking there, which Honey preferred anyway—and he knew that. With the weather warmer than Maine, she bundled up a little lighter and clasped her fingers around Andrew’s, taking in the different sites he pointed out along the way. This was her first trip to Washington, DC, and she wanted to see it all. So, they took their time, and Honey got to experience what the city looked like at night, how the streetlamps gave the town a romantic orange glow.
She knew the path they had just turned down wasn’t going to lead them to the restaurant, but she didn’t say a word because they were walking toward one of the most beautiful structures she had ever seen.
“It’s the Lincoln Memorial,” he said when they stopped directly in front of the steps. “And it’s my favorite one.”
“I can see why.”
“No, baby, you haven’t seen anything yet.” Still holding her hand, he helped her climb the stairs, and when they reached the top, he turned her around and moved in behind her. Standing on the platform with Lincoln in back of them, Andrew’s hands went to her navel, and he whispered in her neck, “Now, you know why.”
Honey stood frozen in amazement as her eyes traveled across the National Mall to the Washington Monument. “It’s breathtaking.”
The wind was just strong enough to make the water ripple, the lights reflecting on it now dancing.
Andrew ran his hand up and down her stomach, and Honey smiled from the gesture, the two of them silent as they stared at it all.
“You have to see this place in the spring when the cherry blossoms are in bloom,” he finally said after several minutes.