Sitting up, I see a folded piece of paper on the bed. I open it up, and my hands begin to shake.
My beautiful April,
I’m sorry I had to go. I’m going to get the help I need. I’m sorry I wasn’t big enough to do it on my own. It took you entering my life to show me that I needed it. I’ve failed you. And it kills me to know that I hurt you. I don’t expect you to wait on me, but just know that you’re all I want. I love you and our baby more than anything in this world. I’m going to be a man and prove it to you.
The words become blurry, and I sniff. I hear the door open, but I don’t look up. I try to read the letter again to understand what he’s saying. But when I feel a hand on my shoulder, I lose it. I begin to cry.
“It’s okay.” I hear Emilee’s voice. “You have us. We’re here for you.”
“Yeah, we’re not going anywhere,” Jasmine adds before I feel her rub my back.
“He left,” I manage to get out between sobs.
“He’ll be back. For you and the baby,” Haven speaks.
He went to rehab. He did what he needed to do for us. And I couldn’t be prouder of him.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
GRAVE
I SIT IN an uncomfortable chair in the center of a room with seven other people. It’s group therapy time.
I hate this shit!
It’s not that I haven’t had a hit in three weeks. It’s not that I haven’t had a sip of alcohol either. I don’t miss the high at all. It’s because I miss April. I thought I knew what addiction was. I didn’t, but I do now.
It’s a fucking hole in my chest. I can’t sleep at night. I can’t function during the day. She consumes me more than any drug ever did, and it feels like a weight on my chest that I can’t remove.
It has nothing to do with sex. And everything to do with her voice, her smell, the way she smiles. I wonder if she’s okay. Is the baby okay?
I’m like a hamster running on a wheel getting nowhere.
“Grave?”
“Hmm?” I look up from my seat to see Jessie sitting in hers with a warm smile on her face. She runs this show. “Would you like to share?’
Fuck no! “What is it we’re sharing?” I ask, trying to not think of April and what she’s doing. I know the Kings are looking out for her, but that’s not enough. They can’t be there twenty-four seven like I could.
“Whatever you feel comfortable with,” the brunette adds. She’s got to be midthirties. If I saw her on the streets, I would say her brown hair and dark eyes are attractive. But since I didn’t know her until I checked myself in here, I think her cheerful smile and bubbly attitude are annoying as shit.
I sit back and run a hand through my hair. “Well … I once partied for a solid two weeks,” I offer.
The guy by the name of Jenson snorts from beside me. This place is not your average rehab center. Harbor Heights is catered to the rich. The only thing I could compare it to is a country club.
“And?” she asks.
“And what?” I shrug.
“What did you take from that experience?” Jessie asks.
“To always make sure your plane has fuel before takeoff.”
The woman to my left laughs and I take a look at her. She’s a replica of a Playboy Playmate. Bleach blond hair that doesn’t stop until it hits her ass, bright blue eyes, long tan legs and big fake breasts. She reminds me of Lucy in a way. Back when she took care of herself.
“Now this I have to hear,” Jenson says.
I sigh, focusing back on the group. “I got in a fight with my father. I decided to go to Vancouver for the weekend to party. Well, what was supposed to be two days ended up being two weeks. Most of it was a blur. But Cross came after me when I didn’t return and found me in a run-down motel alone. Turns out I had lost over five hundred thousand in a poker tournament and had crashed my private jet because I hadn’t put fuel in it. Thankfully, I had parachutes and managed to get to one and bail out before it crashed.” Most of it is still blurry but what I was able to put together was that I crashed shortly after take-off on the way home to Nevada. And that’s why I ended up spending more time in Vancouver than I had originally intended. And when I didn’t return on time, my brother had sent Cross to fetch me.
“Oh, my gosh,” Jessie places her hands to her face. “Was anyone hurt?”