I block him out, close my eyes, and listen to the thunder shake the walls. I draw in a long breath and fill my lungs with the tainted drugs. It’s not the same.
The song changes to “Bury Me Low” by 8 Graves. It’s always been my theme song.
“Grave? Man, someone is hollering at you,” he says, shoving my arm.
“Fuck ‘em.” I take another hit, needing that high I was able to reach before April entered my life. I need to drown her out. Fucking bury her so deep it’ll smother every thought of her I’ve ever had.
“Grave?” Trey sighs. “It’s Titan.”
“Fuck ‘em,” I repeat and take another hit.
Come on. Come on.
I need this hole to fill. The pain to go away. Just fucking knock my ass out.
“Grave, you sorry son of a bitch,” Titan snaps. “Open the fucking door or I will break it down.”
Maybe he’ll hit me over the head with it. Memory loss would be better than this.
How long will it take …?
I hear the door splinter and what’s left of it bangs against the interior wall.
“Shit!” Trey hisses beside me.
Titans storms into the room, and I’m surprised he’s alone. “Where are the rest of the bitches …?” He punches me in the face so hard my head snaps back.
Blood instantly fills my mouth, and my face begins to pound.
“Fuck.” Trey jumps up from his spot on the couch next to me.
Titan grips my shirt and yanks me off my ass, then shoves me to the floor.
“Stop, man!” Trey shouts.
I look up at my friend, already feeling my eye start to swell. “Fucking do it,” I tell him, coughing up blood that’s filled my mouth.
“Fuck, you’re a piece of shit,” Titan growls down at me.
I know I am. April knows I am. That’s why she left me. “Just put me out of my misery.”
“Get over whatever problem you have right now and move the fuck on.”
“Easy for you to say.” His woman didn’t leave him. I wonder if he didn’t share her with my brother, if she would stay with him? “I wonder who Emilee loves more?” I ask, thinking out loud.
“Grave,” he growls. “Get your ass up. We have to go.”
I close my eyes and welcome the darkness. “Fuck you, Titan.”
He yanks me up by my shirt and hauls me out of the house. Then he’s throwing me into his passenger seat. Squealing his tires, he pulls out onto the street and holds his phone up to his ear. “On our way.” Pause. “Not well.” He slides his eyes to mine. “Like shit. See you in a minute.”
“Where are we going?” I ask. Maybe it’s an intervention. I wouldn’t be surprised if they throw me into a mental hospital and toss the key away. Everyone is tired of putting up with me. Myself included.
I blink, and my eyes grow heavy.
“How much did you have?” he grinds out.
“Not enough,” I slur.
“Fuck!” He slams his palm down on the steering wheel. “I should leave you right here on the side of the motherfucking road.”
“Do it,” I dare him.
“Nah, that’d be too easy for you. You deserve everything that is about to hit you in the fucking face.”
“Your fist? Hit me until I feel nothing.”
He just shakes his head, ignoring my question.
We enter the gate for the property the Kings and I share, and he pulls into Bones’s driveway. I groan. Pulling to a stop, he drags me out of the car and has to help me up the stairs. The moment we enter, Bones and Cross come up to us.
“This is a bad idea.” Cross sighs looking me up and down.
“Leave us,” my brother orders.
Titan lets go of me, and I fall into the wall. I blink, and then my brother is standing in front of me with his hand around my throat. “You were always fucking weak,” he growls in my face.
“Fuck you, Bones.”
“You don’t deserve her.”
I flinch at his words. I always knew that, but that didn’t keep me from wanting her. From wanting to be better. She didn’t believe in me. Just like the rest of them.
He steps into me. “You deserve to be alone for the rest of your fucking miserable life, which might be sooner rather than later.” I know he’s trying to hurt me on purpose, and I hate that it’s working.
I go to swing at him but miss completely. He steps back, letting go of me, and I fall to my knees in his foyer. He kneels before me. “You can’t stay high forever, Grave.”
“Watch me.”
He snorts.
“Why am I here?” I was perfectly content where I was. Getting lost in a drug-induced haze that didn’t include a gorgeous woman with purple hair and the most amazing eyes that destroyed my heart.
Instead of answering, he turns and walks away from me, leaving me lying in the entrance to his house. I enjoy the cold black marble floor against my burning skin. Closing my eyes, I fall into the darkness that I’ve been praying for as the drugs do their job.