“We could have lived anywhere, Bri. I could have lived in Comfort.”
It was my turn to be confused. “What do you mean?”
His pulled off his baseball cap and pushed his hand through his hair. He paced away from me, as if trying to bring his feelings into check.
“Fucking hell, Bristol. I only needed to be in Nashville to catch a break. To try and get a record label to notice me. I got lucky. So damn lucky. After my first album came out, I could have moved back to Comfort at any time. Shit, I could have built a recording studio and been here whenever I wasn’t on tour. We never had to make Nashville our home. I asked you for a year in Nashville, Bri.”
“I…I…I didn’t…I didn’t think about that.”
He scoffed. “No. It looks like neither you nor my father gave that a thought.”
“Your father?” I asked.
“Why is everyone making me feel like what I did was wrong? I pursued my own dreams. Why was that wrong?”
“It wasn’t wrong, Anson. It was how you up and left! You didn’t even stop to think about the people around you, how this affected our lives. Do not think for one minute that I’m not proud of the success you’ve achieved. If anyone knows how much you deserved it, that person is me. But you walked away from us, Anson. I asked you not to, and you did. Then you turned around and wrote a song about how you were never coming back to Comfort! You burned those memories in the lyrics of one song. How was I supposed to feel?”
“I was angry!” he shouted.
I looked down at the ground and stared for a moment. “Well, so was I, Anson. So was I.”
“I’m sorry, Bri. If I could go back and change how I left, I swear to God I would. I don’t know how to fix my mistakes from the past.”
I lifted my eyes to his. “I don’t think you can. We can only move on and learn from it all.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. “Speaking of moving on, you sure did it with a bang. You and Josh?”
That change of subject threw me for a loop.
“Me and Josh?”
“Yes. You looked pretty damn happy with him on all your Instagram posts.”
“You follow my Instagram?” I asked with a stunned voice.
His face softened slightly. “Of course I do.”
Those four silly words made my chest warm and my stomach flip. I was hit with instant regret for not listening to his songs, so hard, I nearly stumbled back.
“Um, we dated for a while, that’s it.”
He nodded. “Looks like I was replaced, once again.”
I stared at him, not quite sure what he meant.
“Was it serious?” he asked.
I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Not like us.”
“How long did you date?”
“Anson, does any of that matter?”
“How long did you date, Bri?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. A year, off and on. Like I said, it wasn’t anything like you and me.”
“Did you love him?”
My throat felt thick, and I couldn’t respond.
“Right.”
He turned to walk away from me yet again. A part of me wanted to let him go. Let him believe what he wanted to believe. But the other part of me, the stupid part that was still in love with him couldn’t do that.
“No. I didn’t love him.”
Anson stopped, and for a moment I thought he was going to turn back around, but he started to walk again. I placed my hand over my mouth to hold back my tears and quickly turned away and stared out over the rolling hills.
Bristol
MY HANDS SHOOK as I pulled open the drawer and took out the box.
I sat down on the sofa, and I stared at it for what seemed like forever.
“Just open it, for Pete’s sake, Bristol!” I said to myself.
With a quick movement, I took the lid off.
Three CDs sat on top of a book. A book I had made with all the news articles I had found on Anson and his career.
I picked up the first CD.
Let It Burn was the title. I opened it and took out the leaflet. Scanning through the songs, I couldn’t help but stop and read a few. I kept searching, until, finally, at the end of the leaflet was the list of everyone involved in the making of this album.
There it was…the dedication.
I brought my hand up to my mouth as I read it.
This album resulted in a song that I wrote after my heart felt like it was ripped from my chest. It’s crazy how our emotions drive our words. To quote a line from one of the other songs on the album…
“Love is still there, deep within my heart. A soft whisper in the night, to remind me you’ll always be the light. Our love is still there.”