9
NOT MANY HOURS later, Jack finds himself walking down the midway of a deserted amusement park under a gray autumn sky. On either side of him are boarded-over concessions: the Fenway Franks hot dog stand, the Annie Oakley Shooting Gallery, the Pitch-Til-U-Win. Rain has fallen and more is coming; the air is sharp with moisture. Not far away, he can hear the lonely thunder of waves hurling themselves against a deserted shingle of beach. From closer by comes the snappy sound of guitar picking. It should be cheerful, but to Jack it is dread set to music. He shouldn't be here. This is an old place, a dangerous place. He passes a boarded-up ride. A sign out front reads: THE SPEEDY OPOPANAX WILL RE-
OPEN MEMORIAL DAY 1982 ¡ª SEE YA THEN!
Opopanax, Jack thinks, only he is no longer Jack; now he's Jacky. He's Jacky-boy, and he and his mother are on the run. From whom? From Sloat, of course. From hustlin', bustlin' Uncle Morgan.
Speedy, Jack thinks, and as if he has given a telepathic cue, a warm, slightly slurry voice begins to sing. "When the red red robin comes bob bob bobbin' along, / There'll be no more sobbin' when he starts throbbin' his old sweet song . . . "
No, Jack thinks. I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear your old sweet song. You can't be here anyway, you're dead. Dead on the Santa Monica Pier. Old bald black man dead in the shadow of a frozen merry-go-round horse.
Oh, but no. When the old cop logic comes back it takes hold like a tumor, even in dreams, and it doesn't take much of it to realize that this isn't Santa Monica ¡ª it's too cold and too old. This is the land of ago, when Jacky and the Queen of the B's fled out of California like the fugitives they had become. And didn't stop running until they got to the other coast, the place where Lily Cavanaugh Sawyer ¡ª
No, I don't think of this, I never think of this
¡ª had come to die.
"Wake up, wake up you sleepyhead!"
The voice of his old friend.
Friend, my ass. He's the one who put me on the road of trials, the one who came between me and Richard, my real friend. He's the one who almost got me killed, almost drove me crazy.
"Wake up, wake up, get out of bed!"
Way-gup, way-gup, way-gup. Time to face the fearsome opopanax. Time to get back to your not-so-sweet used-to-be.
"No," Jacky whispers, and then the midway ends. Ahead is the carousel, sort of like the one on the Santa Monica Pier and sort of like the one he remembers from . . . well, from ago. It is a hybrid, in other words, a dream specialty, neither here nor there. But there's no mistaking the man who sits beneath one of the frozen rearing horses with his guitar on his knee. Jacky-boy would know that face anywhere, and all the old love rises in his heart. He fights it, but that is a fight few people win, especially not those who have been turned back to the age of twelve.
"Speedy!" he cries.
The old man looks at him and his brown face cracks open in a smile. "Travelin' Jack!" he says. "How I have missed you, son. "
"I've missed you, too," he says. "But I don't travel anymore. I've settled down in Wisconsin. This . . . " He gestures at his magically restored boy's body, clad in jeans and a T-shirt. "This is just a dream. "
"Maybe so, maybe not. In any case, you got a mite more traveling to do, Jack. I been telling you that for some time. "
"What do you mean?"
Speedy's grin is sly in the middle, exasperated at the corners. "Don't play the fool with me, Jacky. Sent you the feathers, didn't I? Sent you a robin's egg, didn't I? Sent you more'n one. "
"Why can't people leave me alone?" Jack asks. His voice is suspiciously close to a whine. Not a pretty sound. "You . . . Henry . . . Dale . . . "
"Quit on it now," Speedy says, growing stern. "Ain't got no more time to ask you nice. The game has gotten rough. Ain't it?"
"Speedy ¡ª "
"You got your job and I got mine. Same job, too. Don't you whine at me, Jack, and don't make me chase you no mo'. You're a coppice-man, same as ever was. "
"I'm retired ¡ª "
"Shit on your retired! The kids he killed, that's bad enough. The kids he might kill if he's let to go on, that's worse. But the one he's got . . . " Speedy leans forward, dark eyes blazing in his dark face. "That boy has got to be brought back, and soon. If you can't get him back, you got to kill him yourself, little as I like to think of it. Because he's a Breaker. A powerful one. One more might be all he needs to take it down. "
"Who might need?" Jack asks.
"The Crimson King. "
"And what is it this Crimson King wants to take down?"
Speedy looks at him a moment, then starts to play that perky tune again instead of answering. "There'll be no more sobbin' when he starts throbbin' his old sweet song . . . "
"Speedy, I can't!"
The tune ends in a discordant jangle of strings. Speedy looks at twelve-year-old Jack Sawyer with a coldness that chills the boy inward all the way to the hidden man's heart. And when he speaks again, Speedy Parker's faint southern accent has deepened. It has filled with a contempt that is almost liquid.
"You get busy now, hear me? Y'all quit whinin' and cryin' and slackin' off. Y'all pick up yo' guts from wherever you left 'em and get busy!"
Jack steps back. A heavy hand falls on his shoulder and he thinks, It's Uncle Morgan. Him or maybe Sunlight Gardener. It's 1981 and I've got to do it all over again ¡ª
But that is a boy's thought, and this is a man's dream. Jack Sawyer as he is now thrusts the child's acquiescing despair away. No, not at all. I deny that. I have put those faces and those places aside. It was hard work, and I won't see it all undone by a few phantom feathers, a few phantom eggs, and one bad dream. Find yourself another boy, Speedy. This one grew up.
He turns, ready to fight, but no one's there. Lying behind him on the boardwalk, on its side like a dead pony, is a boy's bicycle. There's a license plate on the back reading BIG MAC. Scattered around it are shiny crow's feathers. And now Jack hears another voice, cold and cracked, ugly and unmistakably evil. He knows it's the voice of the thing that touched him.
"That's right, asswipe. Stay out of it. You mess with me and I'll strew your guts from Racine to La Riviere. "
A spinning hole opens in the boardwalk just in front of the bike. It widens like a startled eye. It continues to widen, and Jack dives for it. It's the way back. The way out. The contemptuous voice follows him.
"That's right, jackoff," it says. "Run! Run from the abbalah! Run from the King! Run for your miserable fucking life!" The voice dissolves into laughter, and it is the mad sound of that laughter which follows Jack Sawyer down into the darkness between worlds.
Hours later, Jack stands naked at his bedroom window, absently scratching his ass and watching the sky lighten in the east. He's been awake since four. He can't remember much of his dream (his defenses may be bending, but even now they have not quite broken), yet enough of it lingers for him to be sure of one thing: the corpse on the Santa Monica Pier upset him so badly that he quit his job because it reminded him of someone he once knew.
"All of that never happened," he tells the coming day in a falsely patient voice. "I had a kind of preadolescent breakdown, brought on by stress. My mother thought she had cancer, she grabbed me, and we ran all the way to the East Coast. All the way to New Hampshire. She thought she was going back to the Great Happy Place to die. Turned out to be mostly vapors, some goddamn actress midlife crisis, but what does a kid know? I was stressed. I had dreams. "
Jack sighs.
"I dreamed I saved my mother's life. "
The phone behind him rings, the sound shrill and broken in the shadowy room.
Jack Sawyer screams.
"I woke you up," Fred Marshall says, and Jack knows at once that this man has been up all night, sitting in his wifeless, sonless home. Looking at photo albums, perhaps, while the TV plays. Knowing he is rubbing salt into the wounds but unable to quit.
"No,"
Jack says, "actually I was ¡ª "
He stops. The phone's beside the bed and there's a pad beside the phone. There's a note written on the pad. Jack must have written it, since he's the only one here ¡ª ella-fucking-ment'ry, my dear Watson ¡ª but it isn't in his handwriting. At some point in his dream, he wrote this note in his dead mother's handwriting.
The Tower. The Beams. If the Beams are broken, Jacky-boy, if the Beams are broken and the Tower falls
There's no more. There is only poor old Fred Marshall, who has discovered how quickly things can go bad in the sunniest midwestern life. Jack's mouth has attempted to say a couple of things while his mind is occupied with this forgery from his subconscious, probably not very sensible things, but that doesn't bother Fred; he simply goes droning along with none of the stops and drops that folks usually employ to indicate the ends of sentences or changes of thought. Fred is just getting it out, unloading, and even in his own distressed state Jack realizes that Fred Marshall of 16 Robin Hood Lane, that sweet little Cape Cod honey of a home, is nearing the edge of his endurance. If things don't turn around for him soon, he won't need to visit his wife in Ward D of French County Lutheran; they'll be roommates.
And it is their proposed visit to Judy of which Fred is speaking, Jack realizes. He quits trying to interrupt and simply listens, frowning down at the note he has written to himself as he does so. Tower and Beams. What kind of beams? Sunbeams? Hornbeams? Raise high the roof beam, carpenters?
" ¡ª know I said I'd pick you up at nine but Dr. Spiegleman that's her doctor up there Spiegleman his name is he said she had a very bad night with a lot of yelling and screaming and then trying to get up the wall-paper and eat it and maybe a seizure of some kind so they're trying her on a new medication he might have said Pamizene or Patizone I didn't write it down Spiegleman called me fifteen minutes ago I wonder if those guys ever sleep and said we should be able to see her around four he thinks she'll be more stabilized by four and we could see her then so could I pick you up at three or maybe you have ¡ª "
"Three would be fine," Jack says quietly.
" ¡ª other stuff to do other plans I'd understand that but I could come by if you don't it's mostly that I don't want to go alone ¡ª "
"I'll be waiting for you," Jack said. "We'll go in my pickup. "
" ¡ª thought maybe I'd hear from Ty or from whoever snatched him like maybe a ransom demand but no one called only Spiegleman he's my wife's doctor up there at ¡ª "
"Fred, I'm going to find your boy. "
Jack is appalled at this bald assurance, at the suicidal confidence he hears in his own voice, but it serves at least one purpose: bringing Fred's flood of dead words to an end. There is blessed silence from the other end of the line.
At last, Fred speaks in a trembling whisper. "Oh, sir. If only I could believe that. "
"I want you to try," Jack says. "And maybe we can find your wife's mind while we're at it. "
Maybe both are in the same place, he thinks, but this he does not say.
Liquid sounds come from the other end of the line. Fred has begun to cry.
"Fred. "
"Yes?"
"You're coming to my place at three. "
"Yes. " A mighty sniff; a miserable cry that is mostly choked back. Jack has some comprehension of how empty Fred Marshall's house must feel at this moment, and even that dim understanding is bad enough.
"My place in Norway Valley. Come past Roy's Store, over Tamarack Creek ¡ª "
"I know where it is. " A faint edge of impatience has crept into Fred's voice. Jack is very glad to hear it.
"Good. I'll see you. "
"You bet. " Jack hears a ghost of Fred's salesman cheer, and it twists his heart.
"What time?"
"Th-three?" Then, with marginal assurance: "Three. "
"That's right. We'll take my truck. Maybe have a bite of supper at Gertie's Kitchen on our way back. Good-bye, Fred. "
"Good-bye, sir. And thank you. "
Jack hangs up the phone. Looks a moment longer at his memory's reproduction of his mother's handwriting and wonders what you'd call such a thing in cop-speak. Autoforgery? He snorts, then crumples the note up and starts getting dressed. He will drink a glass of juice, then go out walking for an hour or so. Blow all the bad dreams out of his head. And blow away the sound of Fred Marshall's awful droning voice while he's at it. Then, after a shower, he might or might not call Dale Gilbertson and ask if there have been any developments. If he's really going to get involved in this, there'll be a lot of paperwork to catch up on . . . he'll want to reinterview the parents . . . take a look at the old folks' home close to where the Marshall kid disappeared . . .
With his mind full of such thoughts ( pleasant thoughts, actually, although if this had been suggested to him, he would have strenuously denied it), Jack almost stumbles over the box sitting on the welcome mat just outside his front door. It's where Buck Evitz, the postman, leaves packages when he has packages to leave, but it's not gone six-thirty yet, and Buck won't be along in his little blue truck for another three hours.
Jack bends down and cautiously picks the package up. It's the size of a shoe box, covered with brown paper that has been cut raggedly and secured not with tape but with big drools of red sealing wax. In addition to this, there are complicated loops of white string secured with a child's oversized bow. There's a cluster of stamps in the upper corner, ten or a dozen, featuring various birds. (No robins, however; Jack notes this with understandable relief. ) There's something not right about those stamps, but at first Jack doesn't see what it is. He's too focused on the address, which is spectacularly not right. There's no box number, no RFD number, no zip code. No name, not really. The address consists of a single word, scrawled in large capital letters:
J A C K Y
Looking at those bedraggled letters, Jack imagines a fisted hand clutching a Sharpie marker; narrowed eyes; a tongue poked from the corner of some lunatic's mouth. His heartbeat has sped up to double-time. "I'm not liking this," he breathes. "I am so not liking this. "
And of course there are perfectly good reasons, coppiceman reasons, not to. It is a shoe box; he can feel the edge of the top right through the brown paper, and nutters have been known to put bombs in shoe boxes. He'd be crazy to open it, but he has an idea he will open it, just the same. If it blows him sky-high, at least he'll be able to opt out of the Fisherman investigation.
Jack raises the package to listen for ticking, fully aware that ticking bombs are as out-of-date as Betty Boop cartoons. He hears nothing, but he does see what's wrong with the stamps, which aren't stamps at all. Someone has carefully cut the front panels from a dozen or so cafeteria sugar packets and taped them to this wrapped shoe box. A grunt of humorless laughter escapes Jack. Some nut sent him this, all right. Some nut in a locked facility, with easier access to sugar packets than to stamps. But how has it gotten here? Who left it (with the fake stamps uncanceled) while he was dreaming his confused dreams? And who, in this part of the world, could possibly know him as Jacky? His Jacky days are long gone.
No they ain't, Travelin' Jack, a voice whispers. Not by half. Time to stop your sobbin' and get bob-bob-bobbin' along, boy. Start by seein' what's in that box.
Resolutely ignoring his own mental voice, which tells him he's being dangerously stupid, Jack snaps the twine and uses his thumbnail to cut through the sloppy blobs of red wax. Who uses sealing wax in this day and age, anyway? He sets the wrapping paper aside. Something else for the forensics boys, maybe.
It isn't a shoe box but a sneaker box. A New Balance sneaker box, to be exact. Size 5. A child's size. And at that, Jack's heart speeds up to triple-time. He feels beads of cold sweat springing up on his forehead. His gorge and sphincter are both tightening up. This is also familiar. It is how coppicemen get cocked and locked, ready to look at something awful. And this will be awful. Jack has no doubt about it, and no doubt about who the package is from.
>
This is my last chance to back out, he thinks. After this it's all aboard and heigh-ho for the . . . the wherever.
But even that is a lie, he realizes. Dale will be looking for him at the police station on Sumner Street by noon. Fred Marshall is coming to Jack's place at three o'clock and they are going to see the Mad Housewife of Robin Hood Lane. The backout point has already come and gone. Jack still isn't sure how it happened, but it looks like he's back in harness. And if Henry Leyden has the temerity to congratulate him on this, Jack thinks, he'll probably kick Henry's blind ass for him.
A voice from his dream whispers up from beneath the floorboards of Jack's consciousness like a whiff of rotten air ¡ª I'll strew your guts from Racine to La Riviere ¡ª but this bothers him less than the madness inherent in the sugar-pack stamps and the laboriously printed letters of his old nickname. He has dealt with crazies before. Not to mention his share of threats.
He sits down on the steps with the sneaker box on his thighs. Beyond him, in the north field, all is still and gray. Bunny Boettcher, son of Tom Tom, came and did the second cutting only a week ago, and now a fine mist hangs above the ankle-high stubble. Above it, the sky has just begun to brighten. Not a single cloud as yet marks its calm no-color. Somewhere a bird calls out. Jack breathes deeply and thinks, If this is where I go out, I could do worse. A lot worse.
Then, very carefully, he takes the lid off the box and sets it aside. Nothing explodes. But it looks as if someone has filled the New Balance sneaker box with night. Then he realizes that it's been packed with shiny black crow feathers, and his arms roughen with goose bumps.
He reaches toward them, then hesitates. He wants to touch those feathers about as much as he'd want to touch the corpse of a half-decayed plague victim, but there's something beneath them. He can see it. Should he get some gloves? There are gloves in the front hall closet ¡ª
"Fuck the gloves," Jack says, and dumps the box onto the brown paper wrapping lying beside him on the porch. There's a flood of feathers, which swirl a bit even in the perfectly still morning air. Then a thump as the object around which the feathers were packed lands on Jack's porch. The smell hits Jack's nose a moment later, an odor like rotting baloney.
Someone has delivered a child's bloodstained sneaker chez Sawyer on Norway Valley Road. Something has gnawed at it pretty briskly, and even more briskly at what's inside it. He sees a lining of bloody white cotton ¡ª that would be a sock. And inside the sock, tatters of skin. This is a child's New Balance sneaker with a child's foot inside it, one that has been badly used by some animal.
He sent it, Jack thinks. The Fisherman.
Taunting him. Telling him If you want in, come on in. The water's fine, Jacky-boy, the water is fine.
Jack gets up. His heart is hammering, the beats now too close together to count. The beads of sweat on his forehead have swelled and broken and gone running down his face like tears, his lips and hands and feet are numb . . . yet he tells himself he is calm. That he has seen worse, much worse, piled up against bridge abutments and freeway underpasses in L. A. Nor is this his first severed body part. Once, in 1997, he and his partner Kirby Tessier found a single testicle sitting on top of a toilet tank in the Culver City public library like an ancient soft-boiled egg. So he tells himself he is calm.
He gets up and walks down the porch steps. He walks past the hood of his burgundy-colored Dodge Ram with the world-class sound system inside; he walks past the bird hotel he and Dale put up at the edge of the north field a month or two after Jack moved into this, the most perfect house in the universe. He tells himself he is calm. He tells himself that it's evidence, that's all. Just one more loop in the hangman's noose that the Fisherman will eventually put around his own neck. He tells himself not to think of it as part of a kid, part of a little girl named Irma, but as Exhibit A. He can feel dew wetting his sockless ankles and the cuffs of his pants, knows that any sort of extended stroll through the hay stubble is going to ruin a five-hundred-dollar pair of Gucci loafers. And so what if it does? He's rich well beyond the point of vulgarity; he can have as many shoes as Imelda Marcos, if he wants. The important thing is he's calm. Someone brought him a shoe box with a human foot inside it, laid it on his porch in the dark of night, but he's calm. It's evidence, that's all. And he? He is a coppiceman. Evidence is his meat and drink. He just needs to get a little air, needs to clear his nose of the rotted baloney smell that came puffing out of the box ¡ª
Jack makes a strangled gagging, urking sound and begins to hurry on a little faster. There is a sense of approaching climax growing in his mind (my calm mind, he tells himself ). Something is getting ready to break . . . or change . . . or change back.
That last idea is particularly alarming and Jack begins to run across the field, knees lifting higher, arms pumping. His passage draws a dark line through the stubble, a diagonal that starts at the driveway and might end anywhere. Canada, maybe. Or the North Pole. White moths, startled out of their dew-heavy morning doze, flutter up in lacy swirls and then slump back into the cut stubble.
He runs faster, away from the chewed and bloody sneaker lying on the porch of the perfect house, away from his own horror. But that sense of coming climax stays with him. Faces begin to rise in his mind, each with its own accompanying snippet of sound track. Faces and voices he has ignored for twenty years or more. When these faces rise or those voices mutter, he has until now told himself the old lie, that once there was a frightened boy who caught his mother's neurotic terror like a cold and made up a story, a grand fantasy with good old Mom-saving Jack Sawyer at its center. None of it was real, and it was forgotten by the time he was sixteen. By then he was calm. Just as he's calm now, running across his north field like a lunatic, leaving that dark track and those clouds of startled moths behind him, but doing it calmly.
Narrow face, narrow eyes under a tilted white paper cap: If you can run me out a keg when I need one, you can have the job. Smokey Updike, from Oatley, New York, where they drank the beer and then ate the glass. Oatley, where there'd been something in the tunnel outside of town and where Smokey had kept him prisoner. Until ¡ª
Prying eyes, false smile, brilliant white suit: I've met you before, Jack . . . where? Tell me. Confess. Sunlight Gardener, an Indiana preacher whose name had also been Osmond. Osmond in some other world.