Coach knows. He’s sort of taken me under his wing the last few weeks, and he knows what all I’ve been going through. I nod my head and start walking across the field to where the men, the ones I played with and disrespected, are standing around. None of them, not one, are happy to see me, and I can’t say I blame them. A hush falls across them and I get uneasy as they all stare at me. With my hands clenched at my sides, I address them all. “I wanted to come over and talk to you guys to apologize for the way I acted. I know I was a dick and I don’t have any excuse for it. I’m sorry for all the hateful things I said, all the disruptions, everything. Good luck in the game.” I make sure to look each of them in the eye, wanting them to see I’m sincere. And then I turn and jog back to the other side, stopping next to my coach.
“Feel better?” he asks me.
I shrug. “It’s a start. It sucks, but that’s just the beginning of all the apologies I need to be giving.”
Coach slaps me on the back. “You’re getting a good start, Arnold. Now get to work.”
I nod and run out to get in line to warm up hitting.
As the game gets underway, I sit in the dugout and keep to myself until it’s my time to hit. Each time I walk to the plate, I look up in the stands and see Hanna and Maggie watching me. They wave at me and my heart does a little flop knowing they’re here.
My first two at bats, I strike out. At the bottom of the ninth inning, the score is tied three to three, there’s one out, a runner on third, and I’m up to bat. I get the signal from my coach, nodding my head at him.
On the first pitch, I bunt the ball and get thrown out at first. They throw it home, but our third base runner slides into the base and is called safe, winning the game for us.
My teammates all surround me, patting me on the back. Jasper, the pitcher from the Mavericks and my ex-teammate, comes over, holding his hand out. “Good game, Carter.”
I grasp his hand, feeling better about myself than I have in a long time. Not because I helped win the game with my sacrifice bunt, but because I’m finally getting my life back and doing things right.
I look up into the stands and Hanna is jumping up and down with Maggie in her arms, pride and happiness shining on their faces.
Coach walks out to me and slaps me on the back, looking up at the stands. “Looks like you have some celebrating to do.”
I nod my head. “I sure do.”
I gather my stuff, and after a brief meeting, I skip the locker room and walk up to find my girls. As I’m walking toward them, a woman steps up beside me, her hand on my arm, but I don’t even consider stopping. I keep going, my eyes on Hanna the whole time. She’s watching the woman, and the happiness on her face that was there only moments ago is now gone and in its place is insecurity.
I gather them both in my arms, kissing them both. We’re stopped by one of my teammates who tells us about a party, but I tell him we’re headed home.
Hanna is quiet the whole way home, and after we finally get Maggie to sleep, I ask her about it. She juts out her chin at me. “You could have gone, you know.”
Confused, I ask her, “Where?”
“With that woman. Or to the party. You don’t have to be here every night.”
I take her hand and pull her into the living room, sit down on the couch, and pull her onto my lap. She won’t meet my eyes, and I take her chin in my hand, forcing her to look at me. “I didn’t want to go. I wanted to come home with you and Maggie. I will always choose you and Maggie. If you ever want to go out, we can arrange for a babysitter and we’ll go. But I won’t be going without you.”
“You can, though,” she insists.
I wrap my hand around the back of her neck. “I don’t want to. I will never, ever do anything to jeopardize this, Hanna. I haven’t been a good man, but I’m going to work every day to become the man you can be proud of, the dad that Maggie needs.”
Her hands slide across my chest, and my stomach muscles clench. I adjust her on my lap, not wanting to pressure her with the hardness of my cock pressing into her hip.
She slides around and straddles me, fitting herself against me. “You already are all that, Carter. I…”