“What did Carter say to you?”
9
Holly
I knew he was going to ask me. I stood here and watch him hit, trying to prepare a lie. I hate lying to him, but I know I have to. “Nothing. Just about the game today, that’s all.”
He doesn’t believe me. I can tell by the way he’s looking at me so intensely.
Just like I know that Carter was trying to piss off Shawn. When he was talking to me, he was leaning in like he was whispering to me, but he kept looking at Shawn. I moved away from Carter, but by that point the damage was done. Carter had seen and was already in the batter box, hitting.
He doesn’t answer my question. I reach up on my tiptoes to kiss him, wanting to feel close to him because I can tell there’s something not right between us. And as soon as I reach him and feel his cheek under my lips instead of his mouth, I know he’s upset. He turned his head away from me.
He reaches his hands out like he normally does when he’s going to pull me in for a hug, but instead this time he pulls back from me. His voice is gruff and low. “If you don’t want me, I’ll understand. But you need to tell me.”
I start to deny it, but he doesn’t give me a chance. He walks away from me. I keep waiting for him to turn back to me, but he doesn’t. As a matter of fact, he goes out of his way to look everywhere but at me. I’m filled with hurt, not understanding what is happening here. I was worried about losing him, but maybe he’s worried about the same thing. Surely, by now he knows how I feel about him. This isn’t some game to me. I want him… and only him.
I finish what I came here to do and make sure I get pictures of everyone on the team. I’m finished before the game starts and I go over and take my seat.
I stare a hole in him for the whole nine innings, almost like I’m begging him to look at me. He does well in the field, catching a fly ball and also tagging a runner out at third. His hitting is off tonight, but he still gets on base. I know his coach may not be pleased that it wasn’t a home run, but at least he did hit a runner in.
The Mavericks finally pull off the win in the bottom of the ninth when Reagan Kline hits one deep into center field and Neil Fox, the catcher for the Mavericks, scores the winning run. The fans go crazy. I get up and clap, but I can’t get into it. I’m so worried about what is going on with Shawn I could barely concentrate on anything the whole game.
He still never looks my way and although I’m hurt, I’m still determined to get Shawn to his party.
It seems like I stand outside the locker room in the breezeway forever before he finally comes out. The security guards don’t even question me, they’re so used to having me here now.
I smile at Shawn as big as I can. I don’t want to ruin his birthday for him, so I figure we can talk later. “Ready?”
He doesn’t answer me, but he walks beside me toward his truck. As I’m getting in, Carter hollers across the parking lot. “See you later, Holly.”
I don’t even acknowledge him, because I know exactly what he’s doing. Once Shawn and I are settled in the truck, I ask him, “So I thought we could go to the bar right down the street.”
He starts the truck up, but he’s still not looking at me. “I don’t want to go out tonight.”
Flustered, I know I have to get him there. “C’mon, please Shawn. It would mean so much to me if you would go with me. Just one drink and then we can leave.”
“You don’t even drink,” he says to me and he has me there. I don’t drink.
I reach across and touch my hand to his forearm. He flinches at my touch, but I don’t give up. “Please?”
When he doesn’t answer me, I say what I’ve been thinking about the whole game. “You said if I didn’t want you, I needed to tell you.”
He raises his eyes to me and he looks as if he’s holding his breath. I inhale, preparing myself for what I’m about to say. “I want you, Shawn. You’re all I want. All I need. I don’t even look or think of other guys. You’re it.”
His hands tighten on the steering wheel. “Tell me what Carter said to you. Yesterday and today.”
“Nothing,” I tell him again.
“Holly, I know you’re lying to me and I don’t think you’re the type of person to lie. If there’s something going on with Carter, I just need you to tell me.”