My jaw dropped. He was gay! Suddenly, the image of him in his dressing gown, his cheeks flushed, and his eyes glittering, flashed into my mind. “Oh! my God. You were fucking him while I was waiting for you in your apartment, weren’t you?”
“Yes,” he admitted, his voice a strange mixture of smug and petulance. “I was angry you brought that stupid friend of yours.” He looked at me earnestly. “I want this alliance between us, Sienna. I really do. It brings benefit to both our families.”
“So,” I said slowly, “your plan is for us to have a completely sterile arrangement while we fuck other people. What about children? Won’t our families be expecting a few bouncing babies. Are you okay with us passing another man’s children off as yours?”
“No,” he said clearly, “I will want the children you produce to be mine. It’ll be my duty and privilege to give my family heirs. We’ll need a couple of sons to carry on the legacy and it’s up to you how we have them. We fuck during the times of the month that you are most fertile until you get pregnant, or we can have it all done professionally at a fertility clinic. The second option would be my preferred method, but it is up to you. However, I will need a DNA test of any child you give birth too.”
“You’ve got it all figured out, haven’t you?”
“Yes, I have. I thought long and hard about this. Now, come back in and stand by my side. When people come to congratulate us, smile, and act like I’ve just made you the happiest woman on earth. Unless you want to see your father collapse once again in front of you, then by all means, do whatever you want. I’m doing my duty, so you at least do yours and we can chase after whatever consolation we’ll need along the way.”
With that, he turned around, and sauntered away.
I stood in the dim room a long time. The world outside this small tasting room felt hostile and dangerous. Then I squared my shoulders. Somehow, somehow, I would be victorious. The moment I returned to the event, my father had called out to me, and at the frail expression on his face, I felt my stomach clench.
As I reached him, Fabio came over then. He didn’t try to touch me and we had stuck together for the rest of the night, receiving the congratulatory messages and well wishes as one, as the world expected.
When I finally arrived back in my room, I closed my door, my purse fell to the ground and my legs gave way. I slid to the floor in a heap.
I would never know for how long I sat there, my thoughts running in circles. No matter which way I went, always I came back to the same solution. I was Fabio’s brood mare. I thought of how Angelo had run from the obligation his family had tried to trap him with and I envied him his freedom to do as he pleased. I wanted to run too, but I couldn’t. I could never leave now. Not with my father looking as frail as he did.
I thought of Angelo, his bright blue eyes, the way his body melted into mine, and the life that I so desperately wished I could have with him, and it pained me to think I would have to give all that up. Given his comments in the past about wanting me to be solely his, no way would he come near me now. This sordid arrangement would not allow for me to have his children either.
Anyway, I was probably just fooling myself that I could ever have had him. Ever since the time when Nonna had almost walked in on us kissing, he had taken a giant step back and away from me. And tonight, when I had met his gaze and wanted to run to him, he had clearly shaken his head to indicate I shouldn’t give the game away.
For the most part, this was what broke my heart.
I really thought he cared for me. Well, maybe not a lot, but a little. Maybe this was how he’d been with all his sexual conquests. I had no experience with men and maybe I had read more into our relationship then there had been. Jesus, what a mess!
Tears started to burn my eyes. I let them flow freely.
I sobbed my heart out for the smile I’d had to plaster on my face all throughout the night. The countless thank yous I had said, and the endless embraces I had received. For the life everyone had planned out for me. For the fact Angelo was not prepared to fight for me. I knew I was being silly. Of course, he couldn’t fight for me. Things like that only happened in silly Hollywood movies. In real life, mafia bosses like my father would hunt you down and kill you no matter where in the world you went if you took their daughter.