Pulling my clothes off, I climb into my bed and pull the sheets over my head, and that’s where I stay for the next few days.
MY NAME’S BEING CALLED, and it’s not by one of my girls who I’ve heard downstairs several times. I don’t have a cell phone anymore, so I haven’t been in contact with anyone. I left the bed to eat, then went straight back to it and fell asleep. People have knocked on my door, but I’ve refused to get up to see what they want.
I don’t want visitors.
Except today, the knocking hasn’t stopped. At all.
“Okay, so here’s the deal. You have to the count of twenty to open this door… or I’m kicking the fucking thing in.” Robert’s voice yells through the door. He starts counting, and when he reaches twenty, I hear a loud bang and splintering of wood follows. My head is still buried under the covers, so I don’t look up when he barrels in. “Oh, come on…” he says, pulling the sheet back. It’s not just Robert standing there, though, it’s also my mother. She’s looking at me like I might break. I don’t want her pitiful look, so I pull the sheet back over my face and continue to hide.
“Saskia…” I groan when she says my name.
Now she wants to see me?
Where has she been all my life?
“I brought you your pills.” I pull the sheet down. Looking at her, it’s the first time I’ve seen her without bags under her eyes and she’s dressed nicely. Usually, she throws whatever on, and that’s that. Today she looks like a lady. A mother. Not mine, though. After all, I wouldn’t know what that is. “Christopher helped me get clean. They said Livia’s in the hospital, Saskia. Did you know?”
I sit up. “Why?” I ask worriedly. I take the pills she’s offering me, and Robert steps back.
“She was shot… in the back.”
I gasp loudly. No, no. “Is she okay?”
Mom nods her head. As I scatter everything away from me in my attempt to stand, this time she gasps at me. Looking down, I notice the bruises which are fading. My hands cover my mid-section, and Robert just looks at me like he seems lost. I know I’m lost.
“Are you okay?”
I pull the sheet from the bed and cover myself with it. “I’m fine. Can we see her?”
Mom offers me a sad smile. “Livia asked that no one see her.”
My body drops back to the bed. If she was hurt before, when we were friends, before Rykan, I’d be the first one to know. Now there’s nothing between us.
“This boy isn’t doing this to you, is he?”
I look up to Robert, he looks to my mother then back to me. “I think it’s time we leave, Sheryl.” She shakes her head, but I don’t look back up to her. I don’t want her here. When I needed her growing up, she wasn’t around. She hesitantly turns around and walks out of my room.
Robert hangs back looking at me with his judging eyes. “You’ll need to leave the bedroom soon.”
I want to ignore him. “No, I won’t.”
“I spoke to Cane. He said Ryken’s with Livia.” Of course, he is. I would be too if I were allowed to be. “He’s going to come back here. You know that, right?”
“He won’t.”
He sighs heavily. “Of course he is. He may love her, Sass, but he’s in love with you. There’s a huge difference. Does she know?”
I put my head down thinking about how she looked at me. How she looked at me like she hates me. “She hates me.”
His hand touches my knee. “She doesn’t. She just doesn’t see it. He’s yours, and you’re his. She just got in the middle of that fact.”
“You don’t understand—”
He removes his hand, swinging his hands in the air. “Fine then. How about you pretend to go and love Stiles again. Why not break his heart again, because you can’t admit who your heart really wants?”
“That was harsh, I never wanted to hurt him. I cared for him, too.”
“Exactly! You cared for him. You didn’t love him. Think of all the betrayal you and Ryken have done. That’s not you. You would not do that for just anyone. It’s because you’re blind with him. Your love for each other is sinister, it hurts those around you just because you don’t see it.”
A tear falls from my eye, and I wipe it away fast. “I’m an awful person.”
He shakes his head. “You’re far from being awful. As a matter of fact, you are the exact opposite.” He leans in and kisses my cheek. “Now tomorrow, you better be out of this bed and working. I’ll be back to check on your ass.” He walks off, and I do as he says—I finally move.