“Stop it, Barbie. Fucking stop it. Or I’ll take you right here.”
My hand pauses on him, then moves again. It’s a choice I don’t really think about as I move my hand, knowing what’s to come. Or will it?
He moves fast, turning and lifting me in one fell swoop. My legs go around his waist. My heart beats loudly and slams against my chest and onto his chest. His hands gripping my ass, his fingers digging into my flesh. Then his mouth comes back to mine, and my hands trail him. My heart returns to beating not slamming, and this time I kiss him the way he kissed me to begin with—with lips and tongue. He kisses me like he can’t get enough of me, and I kiss him like I can’t find my breath, and the only way to find it again is to kiss it from him. He moves, walking while he holds me until we’re both out of the water, and he lays me down so my back hits the cold ground, the dirt hits my skin. Ryken hovers over me while I stay hooked on him.
“Barbie… Barbie… whatever shall I do with you?”
I want to tell him to kiss me some more. That is until I feel him press between my legs and a very welcome sensation comes over me.
Desire.
For him.
His lips trail my neck, and he licks a path to my ear then bites it. Pulling my lobe between his teeth while I push my body as close to him as possible.
“What about Livia.” I regret the words the minute they leave my mouth. He pulls away from me so our bodies aren’t touching and my feet finally hit the ground. Sitting up so I can see him clearly, I suddenly feel… dirty. He ignores me and starts pulling on his shirt, followed by his trousers. Then he turns to look at me. I’m still in the same spot on the ground, watching him, waiting for a reply. Or for him to tell me it doesn’t matter. That they aren’t a thing. “You’re leaving?”
He picks up his shoes, hanging them in his hand as he looks to me. “My head… is fucked. I can’t, and shouldn’t be here.” My head hangs down. “I’m surrounded by dangerous people, Barbie. You should stay far away from me if you know what’s good for you. Livia is safer. She’s the safer option. Plus, she’s good to me.” I nod my head. “I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry.” A manic laugh bubbles up from my throat. “Fuck off, Ryken.” My eyes are hard as I look up at him, tears threatening to leak out, but anger takes over. He stands there watching me. “Fuck off.”
Ryken steps away and looks back once as he makes his way to where his car is out front of my trailer. I stand in the same spot waiting to hear the engine I know will rev and speed off before I make my way back.
Stepping onto my steps, I turn to see his red car not far down the road. Stopped. Flipping him the bird, I walk inside, slamming the door shut and trying to breathe. Because as he ripped his lips from mine, he also took my breath with him.
Fucking bastard.
ROBERT’S BEEN TRYING to get me to go to a party all day. I managed to get out of it last night. Tonight, though, he’s at my door with his car keys in hand and a smile on his face. Shutting the door on him, he tries to push it back.
“Nope, not happening.”
“Come on, don’t be a bitch.”
Letting the door go, he comes in despite my protests. All day Friday, after the kiss, I stayed in my bed unable to move. This is the first time I’ve moved from bed today. Trying to work out what happened on Friday, and why it happened, still confuses me and caused my depression to hit me head on. When I get overwhelmed or guilty, I get irrational and withdraw from everything. Unable to concentrate, I find staying in bed soothes my mind until I’m able to come back to real life again.
“You look like shit.”
Sitting on the couch with the sheet from my bed wrapped around me, he sits down next to me. “Livia asked me to come collect you.”
Rolling my eyes, I pull the sheet up over my face, biting on it.
“What did Livia do? Love herself a bit too much.”
“Ryken kissed me.”
Robert doesn’t say anything, making me pull the sheet away from my eyes so I can see his expression. His face is in shock, his mouth is hanging open, and there’s definitely wrinkles on his forehead. It’s the first time I’ve seen him speechless.
“Speak Robert, you’re making me nervous.”
He shakes his head, closing his mouth. “Um… he was with her last night. Aren’t they a thing?”