I take a step back down the stairs, nodding my head, glad for some reason that baby isn’t his, and also weirded out that he’s moved and I don’t know where. “Thank you.”
I turn, walking off, not even sure what to do. I ring his cell phone, and it goes straight to an automated voicemail, one that doesn’t have his voice.
Calling my father back, he answers on the first ring.
“Where is he?”
“Why?” he asks. “You wanted this. Now you have it.” My hand touches my forehead and I push at my temple. I can feel a headache coming on hard and fast.
“Where is he?”
“I don’t know, Everly, but it’s better this way.” He pauses. “It’s better this way,” he says again and I hang up on him for the second time today.
I don’t remember getting home, or even how I got there. The bottle in my hand agrees with me later on when I’m drinking it on my floor with no idea how I got here either. There’s shattered glass all around me, and that’s where I stay until May finds me, her heels clattering on my floor as she walks in with a man trailing behind her.
“Well…” she says, shaking her head. “Your father called, said it was best I checked in on you.”
“Isn’t that kind of him,” I say with an eye roll.
“Ev, this is Ryan.” She motions to the man behind her and I offer him a wave with the bottle still firmly gripped in my hand. “Oh gosh, you look so sad right now.” She steps over to me and pulls.
I shake my head pulling my arm free. “Leave me be.”
“No.” She pulls again, until I finally stand. She brushes me off. “Ryan’s brother owns a local bar, its low-key country style, but they’re celebrating one year today. You need to come. So, go splash some water on your face and let’s head out.”
“No.”
“Don’t you no, me. Clearly, you’re sulking, and this pity party you’re having all to yourself is finished. Where is the tequila?” she says, smiling. “Now go, get dressed, and wash your face, you have mascara running down your cheeks like a crazy person.”
“You’re not going to ask why?”
“Nope. I know most of it. And I’m worried about why you’re crying for something you wanted.”
“It’s not that easy.”
She hits my ass and steps back into her man’s arms, who I might add, looks away when I look at him. It’s probably because I look like a raccoon.
Walking past them, I do as she says, wash my face and change into something that I haven’t been wearing all day.
I’m getting divorced.
The thought pops in my head.
Then I brush it away as I apply new mascara.
I smile and give myself a little pep talk, “I can do it. I can do this.”
May is in Ryan’s lap when I return as they sit at my dining table.
I cough, making them jump up from their spots. Ryan grabs hold of her hand in a possessive gesture.
“I’m ready. But I’m also drunk, so maybe I should take it slow,” I say, walking to the door.
“Fuck no! You can get trashed. I’ll put you in a cab later to send you home.” May chuckles.
“Have I told you before that you’re an amazing friend?” I say sarcastically.
“I know this. You know this. The world knows this. Now, let’s go already.”
A car is waiting for us at the curb, so we get in. May sits in the middle, Ryan’s on her left and he holds her hand, not letting go.
“How long has this been a thing for?” I ask.
Ryan answers, “Two months,” he says proudly.
I look to May. She’s never been one to keep quiet.
Why is he talking for her?
She smiles and I chalk it up to the excess amount of alcohol I consumed before we left.
We come to a stop out front of a bar. There’s a cowboy hat on the door, and I contain my eye roll knowing it’s his and I need to be polite. May pushes me out and comes up behind me while her new beau walks around the other side of the car.
“Be nice.” May smacks my ass as Ryan walks up and grabs her hand.
When aren’t I nice? I’m always a nice person.
“Best behavior,” I say, smiling as we step off. I push the door open and am instantly met with country music. It’s busy, busier than I thought a place like this would be. There isn’t much on the outside to entice you to come in, but this place is packed. May claps her hands behind me and directs us to the bar.
Ryan leans over and calls a name—a man with reddish hair turns around offering us a smile.
Now that is a smile, a nice one at that.
It’s been so long since I’ve even contemplated looking at a man other than Gunner. The man still invades my dreams to this day. I wonder whether the time will come when he’s gone from my thoughts completely. I hope it will be soon, because, honestly, I need to remove him from them and get on with my life, just like father told me to do.