I shake my head. “I just need… I don’t know…” I shrug, “… I need answers. And I know they won’t give them to me. So, maybe if I drink enough and pass out, I’ll wake to a fresh new day and it will all be a dream,” I say.
May jumps from the bed and runs out to my kitchen. I hear the clank of ice going into glasses before she comes back in holding a bottle and two glasses.
“Drinking we can do.”
Hours pass and I tell her everything. Everything about us and all about him. She listens and doesn’t say a word even though I can see it’s on the tip of her tongue. We haven’t slept, all we’ve done is drink and talk.
“Can I talk now?” Her lips move and I know whatever she’s about to say I’m not going to like. I nod taking another sip. It’s our second bottle of wine, and if I stand right now, I know I will probably fall.
“I can tell you love him, and you said he only told you today that he loved you, too. How do you know he really does? And that he didn’t just say it to get you back.”
I shrug. I don’t know.
“I think he does. He just doesn’t understand the emotion that goes with it all that well.”
“Okay, so back to the parents. You’ve always spoken about how you’re meant to have an arranged marriage ever since I met you. That it’s what’s expected from the women in your family, and you wanted to do that because in your head marriages like that work.”
“They do,” I say referring to all my family. Not one of them have divorced, and even if some aren’t all that happy, I like to believe somewhere along the line they were.
“Well, I think it could work then. You already love the man they chose for you. Granted, he should have told you from the start who he was, but still…”
“Do you think he knew who I was that night?” I whisper as if he can hear me.
She leans in close and whispers back, “No. Maybe. I don’t know.” She shrugs. “You should ask him.”
I reach for my phone and dial his number. He answers after the second ring, “Everly.”
“Did you know who I was that night? The night we met?” I slur.
“Are you drunk?”
He doesn’t answer my question.
May hiccups and covers her mouth hiding a huge grin.
“That’s not an answer,” I huff out. “Answer me.”
“Yes. Yes. Yes, I knew who you were.”
Something inside me crumbles. I’m not sure what. I lean in closer to the phone, like I’m whispering in his ear and say, “Was it all a lie?”
“No, it isn’t. Granted, I would have waited to ask you to marry me, but you pushed for me to visit your parents.” The tears fall now. “Everly.”
“Yes.”
“We get married in two weeks’ time.”
“No.” I hang up.
Next I call my father. I know he will still be awake because of his insomnia. He answers on the first ring and I don’t give him time to say anything.
“I won’t marry him.”
“Everly, you will.” His tone is curt, he’s never been like that with me before.
“No.”
“If you don’t, you’ll no longer have a place in this family. I will take back my money from the business as well. Understand?”
“I don’t care.”
“You don’t care about seeing your family again?” he asks, surprised.
“I do.” My voice drops to a whisper.
“Everly,” he says in a softer tone. “It’s the way we’ve done it for generations. You know this. It works. And it keeps us in control of our bloodline and money. You used to be excited to one day meet your future husband. Aren’t you excited it’s a man you’ve already fallen for?”
Geez, he has me there. I go to speak but nothing comes out. What am I meant to say? I don’t even know.
“Your mother wants to go dress shopping with you. You should let her.” Then he hangs up, effectively ending our conversation.
“He’s right, you know. You’ve always spoken about your future husband. Maybe it isn’t so bad that you already love him.”
“It is,” I say dropping back on the bed.
“Why?” she drops next to me.
“Because I love him so much that I know I will be a jealous wife.” I laugh.
“You could have done worse.”
“Touché,” I say closing my eyes.
A second passes and my door is being banged on—no, more like hammered on. Jumping from the bed is an awful idea, and I fall straight to the floor making May laugh as I groan from the pain.
Large strong hands wrap around me, lifting me from the bedroom floor, and a smell I have come to love envelops me.
“I can’t love you,” I say to his chest as I curl into it.
“I’ll sleep on the couch,” I hear May grumble as I’m laid on the bed.