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My body was experiencing a level of physical need that was completely foreign to me. I’d never wanted to fuck someone so badly.
I realized I was staring at her nipples again and had to do something. And God, I needed a cigarette. Trying to quit, I hadn’t smoked one in weeks, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Having nowhere to run with a raging hard on was as desperate as it got for me. It was either move from this spot or pull her onto my lap. A change of position was much needed.
I couldn’t help but laugh a little when she flinched as I got up from the bed. She had no idea how close I just came to grabbing her face and kissing her, but instead, in a split decision, I practically ran to the window. As I opened it, the frosty air that blew inside the room calmed me down for like a millisecond. Then, I walked over to the drawer, fumbled for a cigarette and lit it, inhaling deeply. The smoke burned my throat as I sucked in again, hoping it would help me control myself.
“Why are you smoking? I thought you quit.”
I shook my head. “I did. But I really needed one, and I need to keep my distance right now.”
“Why?” she asked.
She wasn’t gonna let it go. She knew I’d been trying to quit. If I was smoking all of a sudden, it was obvious that I was losing my shit. I inhaled again and turned to look at her sweet face. Just wanting to open up to her, my heart clenched.
“You really want to know why I’m smoking?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“Because it’s keeping my mouth occupied and stopping me from doing something I shouldn’t right now.” I took another long drag. “You should probably go back to your room.”
It was the right thing to say, the right thing to do. She needed to leave because I could only stand so much more of this. She had no idea what she’d be getting into with me, and it wouldn’t be fair to spring it on her tonight. It was late, and we were both still a little drunk. Not the time to be having that discussion.
“You’re smoking and telling me to leave because you want to kiss me?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. As if I only wanted to “kiss” her. Yeah, that would be a start, but there was no end to the list of things I would to do to her, with her, show her for the first time. I dreamt of what that would be like so often while lying in my bed at night. Just kissing would never be an option with how I was feeling about this girl.
I inhaled deeply again and looked over at her. This time, her chest was heaving in anticipation of my saying something, doing something. She even looked a little scared.
Fuck it. Nina, you want the truth? I can’t give you what I want to, but I can give you the truth.
“I wouldn’t tell you to leave if I only wanted to kiss you, Nina. I’m telling you to leave because I want to taste you and make you come until you scream in every possible way imaginable. It was all I could think about all night long. It’s why I couldn’t sleep. But now that you just told me no man has ever done that…fuck. That’s why I am smoking if you really want to know.”
My heart raced.
What the fuck did I just say?
Her face turned bright red as she just stood there. As shocked as I was at myself for blurting it out, it felt like a tremendous weight had been lifted. I’d been dying to tell her for so long how much I wanted her. Absorbing my words, she stayed frozen at the edge of the bed. I put out my cigarette and stayed staring out the window to keep my distance.
I cleared my throat and repeated, “I really think you should go back to your room.”
When it started to feel like Antarctica, I closed the window. Without the distraction of the cigarette, I had no choice but to turn to her and noticed her nipples were harder than before. I could now make out almost exactly what her breasts looked like naked. My eyes were glued, and I licked my lips, desperately wanting to taste them through the thin fabric of her shirt.
I didn’t dare move when her gaze lowered to my crotch. Any doubt that remained about my need for her was now obsolete because I was fully erect. My breathing quickened as her eyes continued to stare down at me.
My heart nearly pounded through my chest when Nina stood up from the bed and walked slowly toward where I was standing. She smelled like sweet vanilla as she stopped just inches away from me. I wanted to devour her but instead held back and took in a long, deep breath, closing my eyes. My lips trembled because it was almost as if I could taste her as I inhaled. She was so close. So close, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Not until she knew the truth.
Her glassy eyes were staring up at me when I opened mine, and my chest tightened. She was so pretty. Her blonde hair was in a messy side ponytail that I wanted to roughly pull toward me. My eyes trailed down the length of her body slowly, stopping at her breasts again then down to her taut stomach and up again. The soft skin at the top of her chest glowed in the moonlight, and I yearned to touch it just for a second, to feel the warmth there.
Without thinking, I reached out and gripped her waist. All the control I had built up was immediately destroyed with the sharp intake of breath she let out the second my hand landed on her. It was a torturous indication of what it would be like to be with her. Her body was so responsive to me, even in those moments when we were just sitting next to each other. I knew without a doubt if given the opportunity, not only would I make her come, but I would make her lose all control. Oh, how I wanted to see Nina lose her mind when she came for me.
The thoughts in my head were driving me wild, and my fingers began to gently caress her waist. The longer my hand lingered, the more I lost focus on reality and when I realized my nails were digging into her, I pulled back and growled through my teeth, “Fuck.”