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Tomorrow, I told myself. Starting tomorrow, I would follow through with my plan to distance myself from her. But tonight…tonight I just wanted to sleep next to her.
“Scoot over,” I said.
She turned onto her side instantly at my command without question. My chest pressed into her back, and her body molded into mine. She was so warm and soft, practically melting into me. I couldn’t resist locking my arm around her waist. We were spooning, and it felt better than anything I’d ever experienced with the opposite sex up until that point. It was sensually intimate and more comforting than anything I could ever remember feeling before. I hadn’t held anyone like that in years. But never had it felt like this—like home—to me.
Unable to control all the feelings that were emerging, my breathing became heavier with each second. She was being fidgety all of a sudden and made me wonder if she wasn’t comfortable. “You’re moving around a lot. You okay with this, Nina? Would you rather go back to your bed?”
“No. I want to stay.”
Thank God. Because I seriously didn’t know how I could’ve let her go right then.
“Good,” I said before tightening my grip on her side to reaffirm my own stance.
I pulled her closer to me and tried to relax, burying my nose in her hair and taking a long whiff of what I imagined heaven smelled like. I breathed in and out slowly onto her neck. I wished I could taste her. I wished I could consume every inch of her.
At one point, she pushed her soft ample ass into me, and I had to reposition myself so that her butt was against my leg and not my dick. Still, the brief heat of her against me made my cock swell. There was no way I could have kept this control while sandwiched in the crook of her ass. Forget what I said about home earlier…that would have been home.
I was painfully hard. I hadn’t been with anyone since the day I laid eyes on Nina. She had me cock-whipped and didn’t even know it.
Her sweet voice startled me. “Jake?”
“Yeah.”
“I really am sorry for invading your privacy.”
“It’s okay, Nina.”
“Thank you.”
“Nina?”
“Yeah?”
“Your underwear drawer might get rearranged this week. That’s all I’m sayin.”
My lips were pressed against her back, and I could feel her laughter vibrating against my mouth.
I tightened my hold on her once again and over the next several minutes, her breathing slowed until she fell asleep in my arms.
As tired as I was, I couldn’t sleep a wink. I kept thinking about how on Earth I was supposed to ever sleep alone again after knowing what this felt like. The thought of never getting to experience this again made my chest hurt, and the thought of having to alienate myself from her made me grab onto her even tighter.
At one point, Nina moved in her sleep, and her ass once again managed to land right on top of my helpless dick, now straining through my pants.
If smelling her hair was heaven, then my engorged cock getting stuck in this predicament was hell. It was a pleasurable form of torture, though, and I didn’t want to move this time. This was my last opportunity to feel her like this, and I was going to relish every second.
I softly kissed her back as she slept, a feeling of dread growing with each minute.
When the sun came up, she was still sleeping while I had to get up for work. I had a raging case of blue balls that would need to be taken care of in the shower, but it was all worth it. Everything about sleeping next to her last night was something I’d cherish for the rest of my life.
I caressed her hair one last time before I had to leave. A fleeting thought made me feel sick inside. But it was reality.
Whoever gets you someday is gonna be a lucky man.
CHAPTER 7
Past
During the first couple of weeks after our little sleepover, I stayed true to my word. Aside from our tutoring sessions, every effort was made to stay away from Nina. We never talked about the night in my bed. It was as if it never happened.
She would try to get closer to me, and my having to push her away broke my heart. Truthfully, I wanted nothing more than to let our connection grow organically and to see what could have been, but I’d resolved to do the right thing.
The low point of that time was when she’d made me a batch of banana pudding one night. Nina started a conversation about her conservative upbringing and how liberated she was starting to feel living in New York despite her fears. She began asking me questions about my childhood and was really trying to get inside my head. Instead of opening up, I just shut down and changed the subject. I filled a small bowl and ate the dessert as quickly as I could then thanked her before escaping to my room. I felt like absolute crap for eating and running but not as badly as I felt once I realized that after that night, Nina had given up on trying.
My message had finally gotten through to her loud and clear. Aside from the tutoring, she seemed to avoid me completely after the pudding encounter.
Then, one Thursday evening, Nina was late for our study session. She knew I’d set certain rules, and number one was showing up on time. Despite my soft spot for her, when it came to the math, I ran a tight ship and took it very seriously, often coming across as a hardass.
I planned to call her out on her tardiness, both because I wanted her to take the tutoring seriously and also because part of me was craving the attention I lost from her even though I’d pushed it away. Creating confrontation was, at least, an acceptable form of interaction for me. So, when she finally appeared at the doorway, I immediately gave her shit. On this particular night, for the first time, she decided to dish it out right back to me.