At least until the smoke alarm had gone off.
Connor had set her down, kissed her forehead, and chuckled as he silenced the loud contraption. She’d burned her first try at making him a burger. Luckily, Kiki had brought her four patties, claiming a man as big as Connor could eat them all.
He’d eaten three and a half. Lincoln had been fed the other half under the table. Yes, she’d caught that. Dinner was pleasant. Connor talked for a change. He’d told her about a group of friends he’d grown up with in small-town Connecticut. He’d asked her about Kiki and Tom. They’d talked about movies they liked. Not surprisingly, he was an action junkie. She preferred romantic comedies.
They’d done the dishes in an easy, companionable fashion, and then he’d turned on a football game. The past three hours had crawled by as she stared at her computer screen, wondering what the hell that kiss had meant.
Ten minutes before, he’d shown up in the doorway to her office and asked her to make him a drink and join him in the living room. She could feel his eyes on her the whole time. Now he was sitting on her couch, leaning back with his Scotch in his hand like a king surveying his palace.
“Why did you cook for me tonight?” he asked, the question a deep, sexy rumble.
She sat across from him. How to answer that question? Right after he’d kissed her, she likely would have blurted everything without thinking. Now, she’d had hours to worry that it was a mistake. He seemed to be in an odd mood, and she thought briefly about a pithy answer. He hadn’t asked her about cooking meat. Just cooking. “I was trying to be a good hostess.”
His eyes narrowed. “Lie. Try again.”
He could be so irritating. Why couldn’t he just be polite like other men? “Why does it matter?”
“It matters to me.” He glowered.
Two could play at that game. “Why did you kiss me?”
“Because I want you very badly.”
“Then why, after you shut off the smoke alarm, did you pretend like it didn’t happen?” That question had been bugging her all night. Had she kissed him wrong? Was she bad at it?
He arched a single jet black brow. “I didn’t do that at all. After dinner, you were the one who said you needed to work. So I tried to spend as much time with you as I could. I talked with you, cleaned up with you, offered to watch TV with you. How was that pretending like it didn’t happen?”
Put that way, it didn’t. “I meant, why didn’t you kiss me again?”
“Ah, that’s what you’re upset about. I didn’t kiss you again because if I had, I would have taken you straight to bed and we would still be fucking. We would likely be fucking until we passed out.”
And that was a problem, why? “So that game just seemed more interesting?”
His eyes narrowed, those dark orbs pinning her to her seat. “I wasn’t interested in the game. I was giving us both a little time. That kiss hit me hard. I’m not a man who normally loses my head like that. I needed time to get my shit together. I wanted you to have time, too. Now that we’ve shared a pleasant evening, you can decide if sex with me is something you really want. I hope you’ve thought about it because if you say yes, we’re going to do this my way and I’m not sure you’re going to like that.”
His way? His way had seemed really nice when he’d thrown her against the wall. Passion had welled up and she hadn’t been thinking about anything but him. It had been simple and he seemed determined to make it complicated. “What’s your way?”
“I’m in charge. I’ll take control and you’ll either say yes or we’ll walk away.”
“That seems harsh.” It was pretty much everything she feared about him. Spencer Connor didn’t seem like a man who understood the meaning of the word compromise. Although he had eaten with her all those days when she wasn’t cooking anything he liked. And he’d given in when she’d pushed him to let her out of the condo earlier in the day. He hadn’t even lectured her about how poorly the venture had gone.
“It’s the only way I’ll have a physical relationship with you, and I pulled back to make sure you understand. You were saved by the bell, so to speak. I’m trying to be fair with you. I want you to walk into this clear eyed and with absolutely no romantic notions.”
She didn’t like the sound of that. “So what you’re saying is all you’re willing to offer me is a few nights of sex and then you’ll leave me to the next man.”
“I didn’t say that at all.” If it was possible, the room got cold. His eyes had turned into stony orbs. “You should understand there won’t be any other men. I won’t tolerate it, Lara. Maybe you believe in modern relationships where two people go to bed whenever they get an itch so they scratch it with whomever seems to be handy. When it comes to you, you’ll find I’m very old-fashioned. I won’t hesitate to defend what I consider mine. Don’t ever use another man to manipulate me. I will end him. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
He was saying if she got into bed with him, she would belong to him. “What do you really want from me?”
His lips curled up. “Now you’re asking the right questions. This is why I gave us time. I don’t go into anything with a lackadaisical, hope-it-works-out attitude. I want things made plain. What do I want from you? I want your warmth and affection. I want your intelligence. I want your loyalty first and foremost. I want you to understand that I’m your lover and you owe me your trust above all others. I want your body. I want to be the man who introduces you to just how sensual you can be, and I want that to mean something to you.”
He hadn’t mentioned a thing about love, but asking for her warmth and affection had done something to her. He was a man who needed it. His admission had lacked sentimentality, but Kiki’s words earlier were ringing in her ears. She’d spent years trying to find the perfect mate only to have it fall apart again and again. She’d been looking for someone like her. Connor was her polar opposite.
Unlike Niall, Connor was being upfront and honest with her. It wasn’t perfect, but it was real.
“And if the sex meant something to me, what could I expect from you? Besides the whole ‘death to any man who touches me’ thing.”
His head fell back and his deep, almost musical laughter filled the room. When he looked back, warmth filled his gaze. “You’re the only one who can do that to me, princess.”
“Make you laugh?” Her hands were shaking as she took a drink. Nerves. Anticipation. Just being near him made her both the tiniest bit anxious and thrilled. Connor was completely unknown territory.
“Make me forget a lot of the reasons why I don’t laugh.” He patted his lap. “Come here.”
She set her glass down. She’d kissed him twice, practically humping his leg both times, and yet sitting on his lap seemed so intimate. There would be no elevator doors opening or fire alarms going off. They were all alone and would be for the rest of the night. This was why he’d given them hours. He’d
let her cool down, given her space to really understand he was different. A tiny part of her resented him for it. If he’d just kept kissing her, taken her to bed, she wouldn’t have to make the decision. Her body would have made it for her.
“I can see you thinking. It’s got to be your choice. I’ll take care of you, but I refuse to be out of control. You can always tell me no, but I want you to use that no with discrimination. Trust me to know what your body needs.”
“And outside the bedroom?” She couldn’t be his doormat. She couldn’t be a plaything he took out when he needed physical gratification.
“I’m in charge of that too, princess, though I think you’ll find I can be deeply indulgent when I’m satisfied. Now answer the question and make your choice. Why did you feed me tonight?”
“Because I wanted to make you happy.” There it was, the only honest answer to his question. But it left her vulnerable.
Connor rewarded her with a toe-curling smile. He patted his knee again, offering her a place. “That’s what I wanted to hear. Come and sit on my lap, Lara. I want you. I want you more than I’m comfortable admitting. I know I should let you go, but I can’t.”
She’d studied this man for days. The men she’d been around would have coaxed her, used their charm on her. Connor was simply honest. When she thought about it, the entire evening had been his version of seduction. Giving her time had been an indulgence, but he needed to know she came to him with her eyes open.
He wanted sex, yes. But he also sought her warmth and affection because he needed those things. If he’d just called her hot and said he wanted her body, she likely could have turned him