“Because I’m assuming she saw the story today as well and I am not sure what to tell her.”
Jack spoke solemnly. “Tell her the truth.”
“That my boyfriend is a p**n ographer and had sex with more women than I can count?”
Jack was quiet for a minute. “Is that how you think of me, Syd?” His voice was low and sounded pained.
I tensed at the sadness of his tone. I hadn’t meant to come across as hurtful, but I was being honest. I had no idea what to tell my family and friends now that the dark side of Jack’s life had come to light.
“Maybe that didn’t come out right. It’s just that my family won’t get it. They don’t really know you and I don’t want their opinion to be based on some stereotype they took from a movie about Bob Guccione.”
“I care what you think, Syd, and I didn’t think you judged me as a person based upon the type of businesses I run.”
“I don’t, and I don’t want others to judge you either.”
We talked for a little while longer, but the damage had been done and there was a tension between us even when we moved on to other topics. When we hung up I wondered how my heart could be filled with such love for a man and yet I was able to hurt him so easily.
***
The best part of my friendship with Sienna was that she told me the truth, even when I didn’t always want to hear it. The night after my conversation with Jack I was still moping around, even after our show. I told Sienna about my talk with Jack and tried hard to repeat exactly what had been said.
“So you basically told him you were embarrassed of him,” Sienna said matter-of-factly, as she popped a handful of peanuts from the bar into her mouth.
“No! I didn’t say that. I told him my parents wouldn’t understand and I didn’t want them to think badly of him.” My tone was definitely defensive.
“Syd, why didn’t you want your parents, or anyone for that matter, to find out about Jack’s production business?”
“Because I didn’t want them to judge him.” I held my head up high, my response indignant.
“What did Jack do that they would judge him for?”
“He didn’t do anything. People will judge him just because of his business. People are judged based on who and what they affiliate with, like it or not.”
“And since you are with Jack, people will judge you based on how they perceive him?”
My shoulders slumped a little. “I guess so.”
“So you are concerned about you, not only about Jack. You basically told him that you were embarrassed of him, Syd.”
I hated that Sienna was right. I wanted so badly to tell her that I didn’t care if people judged me because of Jack’s business. But the truth was, I did. I never stopped to think about it, but I did care what people thought. Deep down I knew it was shallow, but I had to be honest with myself. If our roles were reversed and I realized that Jack was embarrassed about a part of me, even the tiniest most insignificant part of me, I would be hurt more than I wanted to think about.
My head fell back as I growled. “Ughhh.” I wanted to kick myself for being such a selfish, immature girl. “What am I going to do, Sienna?”
Sienna smiled a devilish full smile and wiggled her eyebrows. “I have a plan.”
Of course she did. That was why she was my best friend since third grade.
Chapter 8
The next week and a half flew by with back to back shows and no downtime between concerts in Sweden and Austria. The tour manager approached Sienna and I about cutting a single while we were on tour so they could work some radio airplay ahead of the cities we were going to play in, to gain some following. We planned to record in Northern Italy for three days while we played venues in Milan and Florence.
I couldn’t wait to tell Jack that we were going to record one of our songs. Sienna and I had recorded a few songs together years ago when we were younger, but it had been done in a converted garage using old equipment and a mixer who had been stoned most of the time. Jack was happy that I was excited, but voiced some concern over my lack of representation. He didn’t think it was a good idea for us to sign anything without first consulting with an agent and attorney. Neither Sienna or I had ever worked with an agent, but I trusted Jack’s business acumen and was more than happy to allow him to deal with the business aspect of things when he offered.
The day before we were scheduled to begin recording, Jack overnighted Sienna and I a package with contracts to sign. Although Sienna and I would have been happy just to sign whatever was put in front of us without reading, Jack insisted that we both read the contracts, and then arranged a call with our new agent to discuss the details of what we were signing.
Jack’s package also had an iPad with software preloaded for our video chat with the agent. I was initially taken aback by the woman who appeared on the screen for our conference, especially when she introduced herself as Ryan Sealy. Because of the name, I had assumed Ryan was a man. But the woman smiling at us on the other side of the video chat was most definitely a woman — a stunning, perfectly-groomed, well-spoken, intelligent woman. She gave us an overview of her background, most-revered clients and the services she provided. To say her client list was impressive was an understatement. The woman represented half of the artists that had songs on Top 20 radio.
We spent more than an hour and a half on the conference. By the time we were ready to hang up, my head was spinning and I was so grateful that Jack had taken control of the negotiations because it sounded like the original contract was very different than the one we would be signing. Ryan had definitely earned her fee, whatever that might be someday, since it was contingent on our sales.
“Well, ladies, I think we were able to get you both covered nicely. Do you have any questions for me to help you be more comfortable with signing everything in your individual packages?” Ryan smiled, giving us a glimpse of perfect white straight teeth to match her perfect high cheekbones.
Sienna and I looked at each other and shrugged. “I don’t think so, Ryan, I think you covered anything we could have wanted to discuss, and then some.” I returned Ryan’s smile.
“That’s great. Then maybe Jack will relax a little. That man should have been a lawyer the way he interrogated me with questions on this.” Ryan’s business face relaxed a little, her voice breaking from the all-business tone of the last hour and a half. “I’ve never seen him like this, Sydney. That man has it bad.”